modest proposal

Six reasons why the proposal should be adopted.

First, it will decrease the number of dangerous Catholics. Second, it will give the poor some property. Third, it will increase the nation’s overall wealth, since people will not have to pay for the upkeep of the children. Fourth, the mothers will be free of the burden of bringing up children. Fifth, the new food will be welcomed in taverns and culinary circles. Sixth, it will enhance the institution of marriage as women take better care of their infants so that they may be sold, and men will take better care of their wives so that their wives can make more babies to sell.