Mariam learns some of her husband's history when she looks inside the drawers in his room.why does she rationalize about what she see ?

While cleaning up after the Eid celebration, Mariam goes into Rasheed's room for the first time, and finds a gun in Rasheed's drawer. Mariam feels that he must have kept the weapon in the house for safety. Mariam also finds pornographic magazines, and she feels that she must be a disappointment to him in terms of their sexual relationship. Mariam rationalizes that he has needs that are beyond her own. Mariam also finds pictures of Rasheed's first wife and his son that had both passed away. Mariam begins to feel sad at the thought of Rasheed's sorrow. She begins to feel that she and Rasheed could make a good pair.