What hinders the narrator’s recording all of his thoughts and feelings?

The narrator cannot record all of his thoughts and feelings because he does not yet understand them.

"We are writing this on the paper we had hidden in our tunic together with the written pages we had brought for the World Council of Scholars, but never given to them. We have much to speak of to ourselves, and we hope we shall find the words for it in the days to come. Now, we cannot speak, for we cannot

understand."