Despite obviously being frustrated with Abel and aware of his flaws, Patricia resists leaving him for a long time. The reasons for this are complex. South African society tends to shrug off domestic violence or even condone a man's right to "discipline" his wife. Although Patricia immediately goes to the police the first time Abel hits her, they are not interested in helping her. This incident foreshadows how, later on, Abel will not receive jail time even after shooting her in the head. This incident confirms that Patricia is on her own when it comes to coping with her abusive relationship. Her mother's reaction is also unsupportive: Noah's grandmother points out that her own husband hit her and remarks that this is just what life is like for women. This reaction shows how intergenerational trauma can be passed down, mirroring how the suffering of apartheid can also be normalized and accepted.
Patricia's instinct that Abel will lash out if she leaves him proves correct. She finally moves out and forms a new relationship but Abel tries to kill her, blaming her for ruining his life. While Noah has always loved his mother, the prospect of losing her clarifies just how much she means to him. He feels angry and helpless that he couldn't protect her, but he does what he can by paying her medical bills. Noah shows courageous honesty in admitting that he hesitates over the prospect of signing up for a lifetime of debt, but his love for his mother wins out. Patricia's luck—or, as she sees it, her faith—means that a very serious incident results in only minor injuries. Ending the memoir with a joking exchange between mother and son shows that no matter what dark incidents happen to them, they are each other partners in resilience and hope.