Brave New World

What, in the end, drives John to suicide?

Chapter 18

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John cannot live with having taken part in the orgy or the soma..... thus, he takes his own life.

Stupefied by soma, and exhausted by a long-drawn frenzy of sensuality, the Savage lay sleeping in the heather. The sun was already high when he awoke. He lay for a moment, blinking in owlish incomprehension at the light; then suddenly remembered-everything. "Oh, my God, my God!" He covered his eyes with his hand.
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Brave New World