Charlie thinks of commiting suicide. Why doesnt he do it? Would he be better of if he did?

Charlie doesn't commit suicide because he'd be stealing the life of the young man he was.... and he knows that life isn't his to take. He sees the life he's living as having been borrowed from the other Charlie, and he knows that he must give it back.... not take it away again.

October 3 - Downhill. Thoughts of suicide to stop it all now while I am still in control and aware of the world around me. But then I think of Charlie waiting at the window. His life is not mine to throw away. I've just borrowed it for a while, and now I'm being asked to return it.