Indian Horse

After waking and seeing a vision of his great-grandfather, Saul takes the bus to White River, to St. Jerome’s. The school is abandoned and desecrated, Saul’s old hockey rink nothing but flat earth. An older man spots him on the land and tells him he needs to get out, but eventually wanders off, leaving Saul to muse. Standing by the rink, he begins to sob. Then suddenly, he remembers. He sees Father Leboutilier watching a game with him, but after the game, the priest pushes Saul to himself and kisses him. Saul wanted so much to be loved that he didn’t resist the priest’s touches, when he would sneak into the dormitory and rape Saul beneath the covers. Saul sobs, and when he stops, realizes that he loved hockey because it allowed him to shut out those memories, to protect himself from his past. He also realizes that he has to continue his journey. Saul takes the bus north to Minaki. There he rents a boat and begins traveling downriver, towards Gods Lake. At night he camps on an island in the river, furious as he remembers again and again what Father Leboutilier did to him. Saul finds a stump and hacks at it until he’s exhausted and the rage has subsided, then bathes himself in the river and sleeps through the night. The next day, he reaches Gods Lake and begins walking around the perimeter. As he reaches his old campsite he sees a flotilla of canoes, each boat holding the lost memories of his family. Shabogeesick comes ashore and takes him to the top of a cliff. There, he tells Saul that he is here to learn how to carry Gods Lake within himself. Saul looks down and hears his family singing in low voices, as though praying, while the northern lights suddenly fill the sky. He weeps, finally mourning. Then he looks up at the moon. As he gazes, it becomes the face of a hockey rink, with little Indian boys skating over its surface.