In a daydream I used to have, all these places we re points of happiness to me; all these places were lifeboats to my small drowning soul
When describing her disappointment, Lucy notes:
In a daydream I used to have, all these places were points of happiness to me; all these places were lifeboats to my drowning soul...Now that I saw these places, they looked ordinary, dirty, worn down by so many people entering and leaving them in real life, and it occurred to me that I could not be the only person in the world for whom they were a fixture of fantasy. It was not my first bout with the disappointment of reality and it would not be my last. (3-4)
At the core of Lucy's survival is the dexterity with which Lucy handles disappointment and continues to forge her identity despite it. Although she is disillusioned, Lucy does not forsake dreaming; Lucy's dreams remain her lifeboat during her first days. Even so, she dreams not about the future but of "pink mullet and green figs cooked in coconut milk" (7). Lucy dreams of home. These memories are the threads that knit together her innermost being but which will continue to haunt her as she attempts to sever all ties to her past.
