Marriage is a Private Affair

In "Marriage is a Private Affair," Achebe juxtaposes the differences between city life in Lagos and rural life in an Ibo village. While urbanity is associated with a diversity of backgrounds and viewpoints, the village is associated with tradition, adherence to a singular culture, superstition, religiosity, and a stubborn refusal to change. While Nene represents the city, having lived so long in the "cosmopolitan atmosphere" of Lagos that she is surprised to learn that Nnaemeka's father still believes in arranged marriage, Okeke represents the country, obstinate in his belief in tradition. Regularly traveling between the city and the village, Nnaemeka finds himself torn between his newfound urban identity and his rural origins, feeling allegiance to both his wife and his father. Although Achebe begins the story from Nnaemeka's point of view in the city, the narrative point of view stays in the village after Okeke rejects his son. The shift in perspective immerses the reader in Okeke's stubborn and lonely life apart from family. Alone, Okeke cannot pass on any wisdom or traditions to his grandsons—a state of affairs Okeke comes to regret. In this way, "Marriage is a Private Affair" illustrates how the village's refusal to adapt to the cultural changes brought about in the city leads to a greater divide that will cause the village and its traditions to die out.