What is Orwell's inner conflict?

Orwell doesn't want to shoot the elephant yet, as the British officer with the gun, feels compelled to do so. Orwell’s dilemma is, in part, absurd. He hates the regime that he represents as a policeman and whose mandate he furthermore enforces. But as he explains, he’s too young at the time of the events of the story to know how to fully recognize the nature of this dilemma, let alone do anything about it. He thus carries on by attempting to play his role as the face of the British Empire, though he is acutely aware of the resentment that the Burmese people feel for him, and specifically he’s aware of how ready they are to ridicule him.