How does Ponyboy react to what Sodapop tells him about Darry?

Sodapop comes to bed, and explains to Ponyboy that Darry "don't mean nothin'. He's just got more worries than somebody his age ought to." The chapter ends with Ponyboy wondering what Soda meant about Darry. He finds it hard to believe that his oldest brother loves him, when he's always scolding him. He tells himself he doesn't care about his relationship with Darry, but admits that, "I lie to myself all the time. But I never believe me."