how successful has s.t coleridge been in portraying the revenge of the albatross

Well, Coleridge does not give a "realistic" cause and effect explanation of the penance the mariner pays. When the mariner first sees the albatross, he thinks of it as a "Christian soul" but nevertheless shoots it down. Later, when he hears through a semi-dream two voices debating his fate, it is clear that the albatross was protected by a spirit. Both of these help to understand why its death would be avenged. But the poem certainly lacks an exact causality, which on some level makes it easy to argue that the mariner's punishment has a tragic sense - there's no way he could have forseen such an extensive, brutal, long penance for having fired at the bird.