How does Okonkwo experience with exile is both alienating and enriching?

I think Okonkwo actually mellowed a little bit. He had some time reflect about killing his own step-son and how that might not have been such a good idea. Okonkwo also realized , as much as Okonkwo can, that he was the author of much of his own distress. When Okonkwo returns his alienation sets in. His village has changed. The Europeans have destroyed the Igbo framework that gave Okonkwo his validation. Okonkwo felt alienated from all that once made him a man. I think Okonkwo could have been a better man after his return, but it was too late.