To the Lighthouse by Woolf

Mr. Ramsay is an intellectual. He seems to care a great deal about his wife but lacks the ability to show his feelings. His lack of emotion and intense rationality irritate Mrs. Ramsay, but she admires him none-the-less. His children, however, see him as cold and stern.

Over the course of the novel, we come to see Mr. Ramsay in a different light. He enjoys poetry and literature.... he can even be charming. Ramsay loved his wife, and for all that he alienated his children, he makes amends and reveals his pride in them. So, possibly we can say that his insecurity led him to act in a philosophical way that his intelligence couldn't match..... perhaps, what we perceived as coldness was the result of self-alienation....?