"Where I'm going anything may happen. Nothing may happen."
Rachel is less concerned with the unknown than her own present frustration with her town. She feels stuck, so she finds liberation in the idea of an unpredictable future elsewhere. In this quotation she's accepting the risk of the unknown in order to enjoy something outside of her comfort zone.
"I will be light and straight as any feather. The wind will bear me, and I will drift and settle, and drift and settle."
After living her entire life in one spot, Rachel can think of nothing else but leaving. She desires to feel unhindered and utterly free to pursue her own path in life, without responsibilities or obligations or boredom. In her imagination, moving away from home means pure freedom.
"Nothing is clear now. Something must be the matter with my way of viewing things. I have no middle view. Either I fix on a detail and see it as though it were magnified -- a leaf with all its veins perceived, the fine hairs on a man's hands -- or else the world recedes and becomes blurred, artificial, indefinite, an abstract painting of the world."
What Rachel is describing here is a sense of instability. She desires her experience of reality to be consistent and deliberate, but she's observing the natural shifts in one's perspective. Although this nuance of self-consciousness speaks to a certain paranoia, it also reveals Rachel's commitment to growth and compassion for herself.
"I always brush my hair a hundred strokes. I can't succeed in avoiding my eyes in the mirror. The narrow angular face stares at me, the grey eyes too wide for it. I don't look old. . . Or do I see my face falsely?"
Rachel has some obsessive tendencies. Along with the meticulous hair brushing, she compulsively studies her face. She's anxious not to age, but her very concern is causing her to miss some of the beauty of her age. She is, however, conscious of this obsession and appears to hold her theories in tension.
