Gender Specialist
The single most spectacular use of irony of in the book is the one which connects advice given to the parents of Wyatt on what kind of medical professional they should seek to deal with issues of transgender children. They were told not to seek out a psychologist who deals with children’s sexual issues, but rather to seek out a gender specialist. And so they did. And the first one to be crossed of the list—a physician identified by someone somewhere as a gender specialist had this to say in response to learning that Wyatt urinated while standing up instead of sitting down on the toilet:
“Well, then, he’s not transgender.”
Gender specialist, this doctor. It simply does not get much more ironic.
Crime and Punishment
The most outrageous example of irony in the book, however, is situated in the actions of a boy named Jacob whose staggeringly hate-filled grandfather urges his grandson to protest Nicole using the girls’ bathroom in school by barging into the girls’ bathroom. Setting aside the stupid irony of complaining about a boy in the girls’ bathroom by sending your grandson into the girls’ bathroom aside, the more outrageously ironic punch line to this joke of a legal strategy is that ultimately Nicole is punished for going to the bathroom in private while Jacob is punished neither for going into the girls’ bathroom nor for bullying Nicole.
The Party
At the sight of Wyatt standing at the top of the stairs about to make his appearance at a “Get to know the Maineses Party” just before the twins start first grade, Wayne is apoplectic. The cause of his sudden frenzied anxiety is not just that Wyatt is planning on attending the party wearing his favorite pink princess gown, but that the only thing the neighbors will leave the party knowing about the Maineses is that one of the sons dresses like a girl. And thus the fevered crying out to Wyatt that terrifies his son and throws the party into spiral. The irony is that Wayne was very, very wrong. Fewer guests likely remembered the party for Wyatt’s attire than remembered it for Wayne’s absurd overreaction.
The Party, Part II
That is the not ironic element to the story of that party however. The other irony takes place behind closed doors, in the privacy of a child’s bedroom and with entirely good intentions and a low, soothing voice. Remember what they say about the best intentions, however. Kelly means well in trying to help her traumatized child while also keeping Wayne from exploding again, and avoiding the Wayne’s biggest fear by telling trying to convince Wyatt that the party just really isn’t the right time to wear his princess dress.
As written, it does not seem clear whether Kelly gets it or not, but Wyatt assuredly does when he complains that while Jonas is free to wear what he wants, he can’t be himself. One last attempt reveals Kelly doesn’t get it: “Let’s just try to get to know people first.” It is one of the most heartbreaking moments of irony because Kelly is usually so much more attuned than she is here. Her intent is clear enough, but her words are saying something completely different and Wyatt is hearing loud and clear what isn’t being said, which is something along the lines of: Let’s not make people uncomfortable by forcing them to know the real you today.
Comic Irony
Not all the irony in the book is frustrating, however. Some humorous irony does manage to sneak in and no other examples is probably quite as satisfying as the day Wyatt shows his all-boy brother that though there may be no crying in baseball, perhaps there should be high heels in baseball:
“After watching Jonas struggle one day, Wyatt sauntered up wearing a sparkly dress and heels.
`Let me try it,’ he said.
Wyatt then proceeded to hit four solid line drives, one after the other. Wayne laughed.”
