There are 22 short stories in this essay collection.
Us and Them
This story tells of Sedaris's family friendship to a household that never used television, and he reflects on his feelings back then about that family in light of his current opinions about entertainment and television.
Let it Snow
Sedaris tells of a day when his mother accidentally locked him and his siblings outside when they were playing in the snow.
The Ship Shape
Once upon a time, David's dad was convinced he was going to buy a second home, and this story explains what his dad loved about the house. He reflects on his father's ambitions.
Full House
Sedaris describes a game of strip-poker he played at a young age. He remembers the intimacy and electricity in the room and the feelings of his burgeoning attract to guys instead of girls.
Consider the Stars
This is an essay reflecting on the expectations we often make about popular kids in school, versus the reality of their lives.
Monie Changes Everything
David reflects on his rich aunt and the ways that her wealth helped the family during various times in life. He talks about money.
The Change in Me
Sedaris was 13 when he began feeling like a hippy. He started dressing differently, much to the chagrin of his friends and family, but perhaps it was the idiosyncracy that Sedaris liked most.
Hejira
Eventually, Sedaris's blossoming identity was too much to ignore. This essay describes the events that took place when Sedaris's father learned about his son's homosexuality. After a heated exchange, his father kicks him out of the family house.
Slumus Lordicus
A humorous reflection on his father's life as a landlord of a section 8 apartment complex (which is a kind of low-income housing). This story takes place in the 1980's.
The Girl Next Door
When David was growing up, there was a neighbor girl. This is an account of their relationship, and the various secrets he learned from her about her family's dysfunction and trouble.
Blood Work
David becomes a professional maid, and this essay tells of a time when he was first starting that new job, and he went to a house where he found a very confused sexual fetishist who thought David was there for different reasons.
This story's title is a reference to the Graham Greene story, and it tells of Sedaris's reactions to the book, compared to his boyfriend's take on it.
Repeat After Me
David visits his sister Lisa, and writes about what it's like to be a writer, especially when he feels compelled to write about his private life (which is part of his style). This drives a wedge between him and certain people in his family.
Six to Eight Men
An essay constrasting the normal Christmas story versus the Dutch Christmas traditions.
Rooster at the Hitchin' Post
This is an essay about the life of David's younger brother, detailing David's experience of the brother's birth, childhood, and eventual marriage.
Possession
While searching for a new apartment, David reflects on his knowledge and experience of Anne Frank's house. Sedaris discusses living situations and feeling at home.
Put a Lid On It
When Sedaris visits his sister Tiffany's house, things get confrontational. He tells about their private sibling history.
A Can of Worms
This is the story of a nice dinner with Hugh, his boyfriend, and a mutual friend of theirs. Sedaris's head is not in the game, and this stream of conscious story explains what it feels like when Sedaris's mind wanders.
Chicken in the Henhouse
This essay was written in direct response to the mistreatment of gay men and women in America. Sedaris reflects on the mistreatment he has suffered just for being gay.
Who's the Chef?
This is a narrative depiction of why long-distance relationships aren't healthy, and it explores the kinds of dysfunctions that long-distance often causes.
Baby Einstein
When his brother has a baby, Sedaris stops to reflect on the new addition to the family, especially commenting on the baby's potential and innocence.
Nuit of the Living Dead
This story takes place in France (explaining the play on words in the title). This humorous and suspenseful story tells of David accidentally arriving at a rural home one late night in France. When he meets the home owner, he recalls how startling and frightening the person was to him.