"Ah, how lucky are the lieutenants, the six-foot Junkers, and all the rest of the Don Juan clan! . . . The bookworm, be he ever so decent and clever, is really only pleasing to himself and a small handful of others. The world passes him by and beckons to life and beauty . . . to gay and handsome creatures to whom the hearts of their fellow men continue to turn."
Major Crampas woos Effi with his fun-loving nature. He compares himself to her rigid, business-minded husband who never has time for her. Crampas, on the other hand, has chosen a life of decadence, philandering, and adventure.
"Perhaps, mama, but who is to blame? From whom have I inherited it? From you of course; or do you think from papa?"
Effi's introduction in the text is when her mother critiques her daughter's obvious passion for excitement and adventure. Effi's response indicates two things. First, she views these characteristics as undesirable in a young woman, a direct consequence of social programming. Second, she understands that her mother shares these same qualities. If both women could step outside of the oppressive gender roles of their society they would see that the issue at hand is temperament as a result of genetics and not the sort of thing which need illicit "blame."
"This is as it was meant to be."
This is Effi's parents' epithet after her death. They quote a common German phrase which basically means, "Things happen for a reason, as they should." Bearing two implications, the phrase communicates that her parents dismiss Effi's tragic life as a function of fate and also as the consequence of disobeying society's dictates. This phrase seems to capture Fontane's criticism of the culture. He raises the question of causality in Effi's behavior. Is she choosing to be defiant for its own sake, or is she merely living in an intuitive way which contrasts with the artificial expectations which society places on women traditionally?
"He was right she told herself, a thousand times right but yet in the last resort, he was wrong."
Effi faces a dilemma in her relationship with Geert because she knows that the socially acceptable response to his harsh criticisms and punishments is to defer and trust. The man is always right. Effi, however, trusts her intuition just enough to insist that he's wrong for casting her out and poisoning their daughter's mind against her own mother. In this denial of social expectation, Effi gains great strength and quiet resolution. She resists to the end, expressing her regrets to Geert but offering to forgive him for his wrongdoing instead of the other way around.
