I opened my eyes and found myself in a world that was new to me: the world of mothers.
César managed to survive. Cyanide didn’t take his life, and the boy opened his eyes and found himself “in a world” that was “new” to him. That was “the world of mothers.” César knew that his father “didn’t come to visit” him even “once.” In spite of that, César “waited for him with a mixture of longing and apprehension” that prolonged his “delirious train of thoughts in a milder form.” The child felt guilty and was afraid of meeting his father, but he dreamt about it anyway.
I saw myself as a lost doll, discarded, without a girl…
César’s family wasn’t rich; thus, his mother and father had to work a lot in order to be able to afford at least the cheapest goods. However, their lack of time wasn’t the main problem. A complete absence of mutual understanding and a healthy environment was worse than nothingness of free time and family gatherings. As the result, César was rather lonely. He saw himself “as a lost doll, discarded, without a girl…” Unfortunately for him, his parents preferred to ignore that fact, putting blame on the child.
She must have begged, implored them, got down on her knees.
Because of his illness, César “started school three months late, in June.” He couldn’t understand why they accepted him “at that stage in the year” and put him in with the children “who had started on time.” “Especially since it was first grade,” the beginning of his school life, “such a crucial and delicate state.” The only one reason why he was accepted was his mother. She “must have begged, implored them, got down on her knees.” She “probably thought she was doing it” for his good. Unfortunately, it didn’t occur to her that “missing three months, the first three months, in first grade, would be too much” for her child.
