"I Am!" laments the difficulty of asserting an individual identity in a hostile world. First published in 1848, it is one of the most famous poems by the nineteenth-century English poet John Clare. Clare was born in 1793 in a small village to barely literate parents. Over the course of his life, he witnessed the rise of industrialization and mass migration from the countryside to the cities. His work is characterized by careful attention to the ordinary, especially to the small creatures of the natural world, as well as by a profound sadness. In his late 20s, he became famous as a “peasant poet.” Writing about rural life had become appealing to a growing urban population nostalgic for a slower-paced world. However, Clare soon became more experimental in his writing, and sank into obscurity as his poetry ceased to satisfy the urban desire for a naive and simple poetry of the countryside.
In 1837, Clare was committed to a mental asylum, and he spent the rest of his life institutionalized. He suffered from delusions, and also tended to adopt various personas. Today, he would probably be considered schizophrenic. Yet much of what is now Clare’s best-loved poetry was written during this difficult period, including "I Am!" Indeed, "I Am!" showcases the self-awareness and thoughtfulness with which Clare met his own unstable sense of self.
"I Am!" is written in three stanzas of six lines, with alternating lines rhyming. The speaker knows that he exists, and yet he also knows that those around him are indifferent to his sense of self. This isolation makes his emotions feel transient and unreal, and traps him within himself. Yet rather than longing for community, he longs to be truly alone with God. By the end of the poem, we realize that what he really desires is the calm and quiet of death.
