Cassandra Mortmain
Cassandra is both protagonist and narrator of the novel; an obsessive journal keeper, Cassandra is the middle child in the Mortmain family and the youngest sister, although she seems to have her head screwed on a great deal better than her older sister, Rose. Cassandra is not planning on falling in love; in fact, her priority is to help Rose make Simon Cotton fall in love with her. When he does, Cassandra is delighted, but an afternoon spent alone with Simon throws up some surprising chemistry and the two fall quickly in love.
Cassandra is a good sister, and loyal, and she knows that having a relationship with her future brother in law behind his fiance's back is a terribly unkind thing to do; she just can't seem to help it because her feelings for Simon are so strong. Nevertheless she puts her own desires aside for the good of her sister and with the intention of doing the right thing. When she is actually able to have a relationship with Simon she is worried about his feelings for Rose, and so puts the brakes on the relationship somewhat, so that she can protect her heart.
Rose Mortmain
The eldest of the Mortmain children, Rose is flighty, dreamy and convinced that she was supposed to live the life of a Jane Austen heroine in the castle in which she was raised. She does not want to settle for a love relationship and instead determines to make herself fall in love with Simon Cotton because he is the heir to a tremendous fortune. She also aims to make him fall in love with her, but her inept and embarrassing attempts at flirtation, which she has never actually tried before, go so wrong that she almost alienates his entire family.
Rose does not treat Simon very well; she cheats on him with his brother and when both of their feelings grow too strong to deny, she elopes.
Simon Cotton
Simon is the eldest Cotton brother. He was raised in New England by his mother; he loves the countryside, literature and studying. He is a serious young man who does not see life in the same way that his more light-hearted brother does. Simon is the heir to the Cotton family fortune which is why Rose has her sights set on him, but his accidental romance with Cassandra is so much more genuine that he prepares to propose to her by the end of the novel. He leaves for a trip to America after going to visit with her, seemingly to propose, but is diverted by her conviction that they should rekindle their romance after his return.
Mr Mortmain
Once upon a time, Mr Mortmain was a successful author, with a global bestseller in the modernist tradition, and an eager audience anticipating the publication of his second book. Ten years later they are still waiting; Mr Mortmain has the mother of all writers' blocks and has not managed to pen a word since his first book came out. He has always believed that the dilapidated castle he purchased leasehold will act as a source of inspiration but this has not turned out to be the case. He is an eccentric man, widowed and remarried, with a wife younger than himself.
Topaz Mortmain
In a family of eccentrics, artists' model Topaz stands out as the most eccentric of the bunch. She enjoys nudity, and has been known to sunbathe completely naked, or to walk around the castle grounds wearing only a pair of boots, and nothing else. Topaz appears to have a positive relationship with her step children and steps into the mother-of-the-bride role with enthusiasm.
Neil Cotton
Neil is the younger of the two Cotton heirs, and is far more relaxed and outgoing than his more scholarly brother, largely due to the fact that he was raised by his father in California. His goal is to return to his home state and become a rancher. Neil is not nearly as sought after by women as his brother because he is not the first in line to the family fortune. He is also initially the most turned-off by Rose's terrible attempts at flirting, ironically falling in love with her hard when she is engaged to his brother.
Thomas Mortmain
Thomas is the youngest Mortmain child, and the baby of the family He is happy to be involved in all of Cassandra's plans and schemes and wants to help his father overcome his writers' block; he is the prime "helper" in Cassandra's plan to lock their father in a turret room in the castle and leave him there until he is inspired to write something.
