Marriage is a Private Affair Essay Questions

What is the significance of the storm at the end of "Marriage is a Private Affair"?

The storm at the end of "Marriage is a Private Affair" is a symbol of the love Okeke withholds from his son after learning of his son's engagement to Nene. When Nnaemeka tells Okeke of the engagement, arguing that he is breaking with the tradition of arranged marriage to marry for love, Nnaemeka expects "the storm to burst." In this instance, the storm is a metaphor for the anger Nnaemeka anticipates after having disobeyed his father. However, that storm doesn't come. Instead of erupting in anger, Okeke keeps his emotions to himself, retiring to his room for the night. The storm—both literal and metaphorical—finally arrives at the end of the story, once Okeke has learned of the existence of his grandsons. However, the sudden breaking of a storm coincides not with a release of anger but a release of remorse and affection. Achebe writes, "It was one of those rare occasions when even Nature takes a hand in a human fight." In this passage, Achebe suggests that the rain convinces Okeke to see the error of his ways, prompting him to picture his grandsons standing out in the rain, shut out of his house, shut out of his love. In this way, the storm represents the feelings that Okeke denies himself in order to hold on to his resentment of Nnaemeka. Eventually, those feelings, acting with the full force of Nature, overpower his stubborn will and cause Okeke to regret that he ever withheld his love.

Explain the significance of the central conflict in "Marriage is a Private Affair."

The central conflict in "Marriage is a Private Affair" revolves around Nnaemeka and Okeke's competing visions of why one should marry. While Okeke insists upon the Ibo tradition of arrange marriage, which involves family members deciding who one should marry, Nnaemeka has lived long enough in the city to have learned that love is a prerequisite for marriage. Conflicts erupt when Nnaemeka cannot convince Okeke to understand his view. While Okeke insists to Nnaemeka that his newfangled ideas are the work of Satan, Nnaemeka insists upon marrying Nene, going through with the wedding without his father's blessing. Nnaemeka holds fast to the idea that his father will come around, but he underestimates the extent to which Okeke is attached to custom. Ultimately, the battle against marrying for love and arranged marriage is won by love. Okeke softens when he learns about his grandsons, and he must accept that his adherence to tradition has not preserved the family but has left him alone and embittered.

What is the significance of the geographic divide in "Marriage is a Private Affair"?

By having Nene and Nnaemeka live in the city of Lagos and Okeke live in an unnamed Ibo village, Achebe presents a juxtaposition of not just place but values. Having lived in the diverse, modern, and cosmopolitan atmosphere of Lagos most of her life, Nene is shocked to learn that Okeke is so attached to the custom of arranged marriage. Okeke, by contrast, is shocked to learn that his son is willing to dispense with his village's customs after having lived in the city. While Nene represents the modernity of the city and Okeke represents the traditions and religious scrupulosity associated with rural life, Nnaemeka travels between the village and Lagos, torn between allegiances to his origins and to his new self-conception. Ultimately, Nnaemeka chooses the city and Nene over his father and the village. Although Nnaemeka reaches out to his father and offers to visit, his father rejects these offers, refusing to let his son believe he can live in both realities. Although Okeke considers himself to have "won" in his stubborn refusal to see his family, Nene and Nnaemeka develop a happy life together, while Okeke is embittered and alone. Stuck in the village, Okeke restricts himself from sharing in the love of his family and in passing on the village traditions to his grandsons. In this way, it is the city that wins out over the village, whose traditions are destined to die out if not kept alive by the next generation.