This is the autobiographical account of Ward's personal journey mourning five deaths. All five dead were men in Ward's life whose death came either by suicide, drugs, or some related tragedy.
Ward offers an account of her daily existence as a writer, then she jumps back in time to recall the events leading up to the first death, the death of Roger Eric Daniels III, at the age of only 23. She remembers finding out in June 2004 that Daniels had died so young, from heart attack of all things. The autopsy revealed extreme cocaine ingestion alongside a handful of pills. He was already dead four days when his body was discovered.
The next death is that of Demond Cook who died in February the same year. He was killed in a drive-by shooting. He was scheduled to testify against a neighborhood drug dealer, and Ward theorizes that he was probably martyred for his testimony.
Then there was CJ Martin, Ward's younger sister's ex-boyfriend. He was a brooding soul who was convinced that he was doomed to die young. She tells of his existential perspective and then teaches us that he was correct after all: He did die young. He was parked on a train track when a train collided with him and the car exploded.
Ronald Wayne Lizana was only 19 when he died. In 2002, he was at his sister's apartment and he killed himself, upset about a romantic dispute.
Finally, there was the story that hit Ward closest to home. In the year 2000, Ward's 19-year-old brother was killed in a drunk driving accident. The drunk driver was never charged for the death, but merely for the hit-and-run, and Ward's family never received a dime from him or anyone.
She tells in the following chapters that many of the kids were severely bullied, and at the public schools they attended, there was often confusion and misdirection about what life was even for, and she ends the book by remembering what it felt like to be young and naïve, back when they could pretend they'd live forever.
