Femininity
milk and honey explores the experience of womanhood throughout the book. Kaur often links femininity to strength, power and wisdom, but she also describes experiencing discrimination on the basis of being female. Despite this discrimination, Kaur emphasizes the message that oppression does not define women. This is particularly salient in "the healing," where Kaur writes that "we all move forward / when we recognize how resilient / and striking the women / around us are." The link between womanhood and strength is apparent in the poem "-kaur / a woman of sikhi," where the speaker describes the power that this shared name imbues her with. It is her "identity and liberation," and also serves as a higher calling to uplift other women in need.
The poet celebrates the natural beauty of women and challenges any social construct about how women ought to behave, dress, and groom themselves. For example, several poems celebrate female body hair, and a drawing accompanying one of these poems depicts body hair as plants and flowers blooming from a woman's body. Throughout this collection, Kaur motivates women to stand strong and independent, as well as to love and support one another.
Self-Love
The concept of self-love is present throughout milk and honey. Despite the obstacles that the speakers face, the tone of the collection always shifts back to the message of self-love and acceptance. Self-love can be considered a political issue in that Kaur advocates for self-love on behalf of women, particularly women of color, who have been oppressed. A poem in "the hurting" addresses the illusion that women who work to protect their hearts and keep their bodies safe bring shame to a household. In "the loving," the speaker's first serious relationship with a boyfriend is also a journey in learning how to love herself. She states that she does not want her boyfriend to fill the empty parts of herself. Rather, the speaker intends to be complete on her own within this pairing. Even in "the breaking" when this relationship fails, the speaker clings to her self-regard. In one poem, she states that she left the relationship because the longer she stayed, the less she loved herself. In "the healing," the speaker is able to accept that pain is a part of life, and that it does not have to diminish self-love.
Kaur's poems aim to instill in readers a feeling of confidence that even after experiencing difficulties in the past, one can work towards a better future. The poems also convey the message that a person's shortcomings don’t define them.
Self-Expression and Healing
While the final section in particular deals with healing, this topic is present throughout milk and honey. The process of self-expression is connected to the healing path. A speaker in one poem in "the healing" wonders whether writing is healing or destroying her, but there generally seems to be an awareness that self-expression brings catharsis. For example, in "you tell me to quiet down..." the speaker celebrates the "fire in [her] belly," a symbol of her passion and the words that she has to share with the world. This sharing is presented as a higher calling in the poem "-kaur / a woman of sikhi," where the speaker states her desire to share her poetry and contribute to the healing of other women. The notion that something beautiful can be made from pain is expressed in "the healing." The poem "-to the reader" encourages readers to grow flowers from their pain in whatever way they need to.
Sexual Abuse and Trauma
Kaur also touches upon abuse and trauma in her poetry. Traumatic experiences such as rape appear in several poems in "the hurting," such as in "-midweek sessions" where the speaker discusses with her therapist the way she was abused as a child. An older speaker in a later poem describes a violent sexual encounter in which a boy "guts" a woman with his fingers as if cleaning out a cantaloupe. Even when the speaker experiences true love for the first time, she describes her sexual desire in one poem as though she is a canvas begging for art. Some scholars have read this poem as an example of the speaker objectifying herself for a man. The frank discussions concerning sexual encounters such as these are meant to help readers feel that they are not alone if they have had similar experiences. Kaur emphasizes in one poem that rape does not define a person; while it can "tear you / in half," it "will not / end you." The message in this collection is that there is always the possibility of healing.
Heritage
Though heritage (the connection to family, culture, and ancestors) is not present in every single poem, it still plays an essential role in the collection. The poem "-kaur / a woman of sikhi" is the primary poem that deals with heritage. Through the connection that her shared name (Kaur) brings her to other women in the Sikh tradition, the speaker is able to harness this feeling to uplift other women. The name Kaur is her identity and her liberation, providing a higher calling to share her work with the world. In interviews, the poet has discussed how in the past she felt shame regarding her family's culture, but over time her heritage has come to be a source of pride and connection. Through celebrating her own heritage, Kaur encourages readers to do the same.
Feminist "Taboo" Topics
Kaur's poetry rose to fame particularly after she shared a project online in which she depicted menstruation with the intention to normalize it. When Instagram deleted her post multiple times, Kaur challenged the decision, calling it misogynistic. Similarly, Kaur covers "taboo" topics from a feminist perspective in her book milk and honey. These topics include female masturbation and body hair. Kaur not only normalizes both; she celebrates them. For example, several drawings in the book depict body hair as plants and flowers growing from women's bodies. In this way, body hair is characterized as natural and beautiful. In one poem, the speaker tells women and girls that next time a boy points out her leg hair, she ought to remind the boy that he is a guest in the home of her body. In another poem, the speaker engages in masturbation, a form of self-pleasure that some consider to be a radical and inappropriate subject.
Beauty
Kaur challenges traditional definitions of beauty in milk and honey. In "my issue with what they consider beautiful," the speaker points out the way that traditional definitions of beauty function on the practice of exclusion. These traditional notions refer to Western Eurocentric standards, which exclude women of color. The particular features that Kaur focuses on in this poem are body hair, nose shapes, skin color, body size, and eye shapes. Kaur celebrates the features that Western Eurocentric standards deem ugly, such as big hooked noses and dark skin. In another poem, Kaur encourages the reader to accept themself "as you were designed." This characterizes the human body as a piece of art.
