Summary
In this chapter, Mandisa looks back at her life before the incident, as a young person in Guguletu. Then, she looks ahead to her life following the incident, as a worried mother still unable to accept the truth about her son. Mandisa returns to the story of her pregnancy and her son's birth, saying: "From the beginning, this child has been nothing but trouble" (65). But she maintains that to understand Mxolisi and his life is to be unsurprised by his actions, not since that "first unbelievable shock," that of her pregnancy (65). Mandisa was fifteen when she became pregnant. Before her pregnancy, all she had feared was mean teachers or spats with friends. As she looks back to the years before her pregnancy, she attempts to pinpoint where it all began to unravel for her. Perhaps it was when she first got her period, "bad luck number one" (65). This causes Mandisa's mother to constantly fret that she might get pregnant. She institutes weekly checks of her daughter's hymen as a means of ensuring Mandisa never falls victim to the sinful persuasion of a horny boy. Next, Mandisa and her best friend, Nono, have a big fight. One day at the beach, Mandisa learns that Nono has been hiding the fact that she has been dating Mandisa's brother Khaya from her. This causes Mandisa to ice the girl out for weeks, and she spends this time lonely.
One day, while out in a white suburb doing chores for her mother, Mandisa comes across an old friend from Blouvlei, Stella. Mandisa is overjoyed at this reunion, as she never expected to see any of those girls again. The girls "hugged and kissed, unashamed tears streaming down our cheeks" (66). Then they step back to inspect each other. Stella has changed. She is wearing a bra now and smoking. Stella leads Mandisa away from nosy adults and into the bus terminal, where she can smoke in peace. She and Mandisa take the time to catch up on each other's lives, and Stella is a wealth of information on the status of all of her cherished childhood friends. Unfortunately, most have faced depressing fates. Toptop is pregnant, Nomabhelu had been married off to an older man, and Sis' Lulu passed away. On and on Stella went, not seeming "to have anything to tell me that was funny, or happy, or carefree" (67). The next day, this chance encounter reunites Mandisa and Nono.
The same day, a new boy from the village of Cala arrives at the school. His name is China, and Mandisa is instantly taken with him: "handsome as spring weather, and as popular" (69). China chooses Mandisa to be his girlfriend, and she accepts, even though boyfriends had been forbidden by her mother. Ever since Mandisa had gotten her period, she was constantly warned away from men by her mother: "Never let a boy come anywhere near you... you will have a stomach if you do" (69). Mandisa, confused, thought she could not even touch the men in her life, including her father and brother. It is Nono who explains what Mama means, but Mandisa is still left with a foggy understanding of sex and pregnancy. In March, the third instance of bad luck hits: Ribba, a girl two years ahead of Nono and Mandisa in school, dies from a botched back-yard abortion. Mandisa's mother continues her constant checks of her daughter's hymen and becomes even more preoccupied with preserving the girl's virginity. She takes down the hems of Mandisa's dresses and skirts. Consequently, Mandisa won't have sex with China, who agrees with her decision: "he had no intention of getting me or himself into that kind of trouble" (70). They would spend whatever time they could together, kissing and having sex without penetration.
Mandisa's mother becomes aware of the relationship between Khaya and Nono and begins to object to the girl coming around the house as much. She takes offense at what the girl wears, insulting Nono's mother for not keeping her out of trouble by letting her leave her home in pants or short skirts. Nono's mother takes offense and comes to the home to fight with Mandisa's mother. They patch things over, but Mama vows she will never like Nono. Unfortunately, two months later, Nono becomes pregnant with Khaya's child. "Imagine Mama's chagrin," Mandisa writes, "her bitter disappointment and anger...when an already far from pretty situation turned uglier" (71). Mama forbids Mandisa from talking to her best friend, blaming her for not taking better care of herself: "It is the girl's responsibility, as far as I'm concerned, to see that certain boundaries are not crossed" (71). Notably, Mama does not blame Khaya for the whole ordeal: "What do you expect from a boy if you go and spread yourself beneath him?" (71). Fortunately, Mandisa writes, "I was a good girl," and continued having "play sex" with China (71).
Nono's pregnancy caused Mama to return to the hymen checks with vigor. For the first time, Mandisa protests in earnest, "not scolding nor threat of beating would move me" (71). After a week-long standoff, Mama decides to send Mandisa away to her maternal grandmother, Makhulu, in Gunululu. No matter how much crying and pleading Mandisa does, Mama does not change her mind: "Nono's pregnancy had deranged Mama" (71). Mandisa took back her stubbornness, even offered to resume the checks, but it was to no avail. Mama sincerely believed that sending Mandisa to the village was the only way to protect her from pregnancy, as "she would not trust even her own eyes" (72). At fourteen, Mandisa is sent by train to Gunululu, a "hard place," to a grandmother she had never met before in her life.
Three months later, Mandisa is stuck in Gunululu. She is miserable, mostly because she desperately misses her love, China. She has just finished the first quarter of her new school and is happy to be on break. She is bitter and angry at her mother for sending her here: "Thinking about it, even now, made me so angry, my eyes smarted" (73). She is convinced she will die from the unbearable separation from China. Her grandmother has made sure to keep her alive, making sure the girl eats and trying to fill the hole in Mandisa's heart her mother left. But her grandmother's kindness could not stop the feelings of abandonment: "Mama left. A stranger walked into the place in my heart she had left unoccupied" (72). Mama's sister, Aunt Funiwe from East London, sends news that she intends to come home to Mandisa and her grandmother in a few week's time to have her child. Mandisa decides to ask her aunt to take her back to East London with her so that she could finish high school. It is a new pair of eyes that uncovers the truth. Aunt Funiwe takes a few looks at Mandisa and condemns the girl for the rest of her life, for Mandisa is pregnant. Mandisa realizes she has not had her period since arriving at Gunululu. Her mother and aunt interrogate her, and she admits to having a boyfriend, but staunchly defends her innocence. They call for the village midwife, who confirms all of their worst fears: "The old woman said, 'Utakelwe! She has been jumped into!" (81).
The next day, Makhulu sends Mama a telegram telling her the news. The baby also chooses that day to make himself known. Mandisa is overwhelmed and terrified, but she could not deny that the movement within her caused her to be "warm, all over... I couldn't hide the wide, wide smile in my heart" (81). Mama is devastated by the news, "staring unseeingly, she sat slumped against Makhulu's shoulders... then, the flood came" (81). Mama cries, then Mama wails. She is preoccupied with what people will think, particularly her neighbors and the members of her church. The fact that the midwife had confirmed that Mandisa was a virgin when she was impregnated was of little solace to both mother and daughter. Mandisa is so full of shame, fear, and anger that she feels nothing at all. She wishes for death. Mama will not be consoled, nor will she look at her daughter with an ounce of sympathy.
Analysis
Before her pregnancy, Mandisa's parents had "had high hopes" for her (65). They believed that they could ensure a better life for her by giving her an education, that it would free her "from the slavery that was their lot as uneducated laborers" (65). Mandisa is a girl with a lot of potential. Not only is she hardworking and obedient, but she is also incredibly smart. In this chapter we see her praised for receiving the second-best marks on her final examinations in the whole school. Mandisa also has plans to continue her education. Because primary school is ending for her, and Gulululu offers little options for secondary school, she spends time thinking about how she might be able to continue her education. This is part of the reason she is so excited for Aunt Funiwe's visit: she is hoping her aunt will take her back to East London with her, and that she might be able to continue her education there, closer to China. This potential is ruined when she becomes pregnant, a fact that devastates Mama.
A lack of quality sexual education curses many of the girls we meet in this chapter. Both Nono and Mandisa have been warned against childhood pregnancy by their families, but are pushed into romantic relationships with boys outside of the home. Mandisa is generally very confused about the mechanics of sex. All that Mama has taught her is to protect her hymen, and so she is still vulnerable to pregnancy (even if the odds of her getting pregnant are low). Childhood pregnancy is a curse for the girls who become pregnant as they are forced to choose between an abortion (illegal and with a high mortality rate) or to give up their girlhood and dreams of school. Having a child is not nearly as consequential for the boys who get these girls pregnant.
The pregnancy irrevocably changes Mandisa's life. Like the move to Guguletu, and the police raid, everything she had once known was no more: "my very life came to an abrupt halt... Everything I had ever known had been bulldozed, extinguished, pulverized" (84). Becoming pregnant "destroyed the me I was... the me I would have become" (65). This motif of irrevocable change works to show how little autonomy Mandisa has over these aspects of her life. She is often stuck in her situation, and no matter how much she plans she might leave it, other people make choices that completely upend her world. This does not end when she becomes an independent adult: now it is Mxolisi, her son, whose choices begin to affect her.
The fact of Mandisa's virgin pregnancy is an interesting aspect of the chapter. The odds of Mandisa having gotten pregnant from the non-penetrative sex she was having were very low. If Mandisa had been offered sexual education or contraceptives, this unfortunate circumstance might have been avoided. It provides a sense of unavoidability or fate to the pregnancy. It also makes its occurrence that much more tragic.
This chapter examines the role of the mother in a girl's life. Mandisa's relationship with her mother is ruined as the woman becomes paranoid about her daughter's virginity. Mama believes that "God put mothers on this earth, to ensure the health of their daughters,” and she allows this belief to dictate her interactions with her daughter (69). When she is sent away to Gunululu, Mandisa feels deeply abandoned by her mother. She writes that there is a hole in her heart where her mother used to be and that grief, "sharp as a new razor," filled that hole in Gunululu (73). Mandisa's relationship with her mother does not improve after Mama learns about the pregnancy, nor will it for a long time. Mandisa's relationship with her mother helps us understand how she relates to her son, as she loves Mxolisi deeply and makes pains to make sure he does not feel abandoned by her ever.
