In the beginning of the 20th century 9-year-old Philip Carey became an orphan, and was sent for bringing up to his uncle in Blackstable. His uncle was a vicar and did not feel soft feelings toward his nephew, but in his house Philip found a lot of different books, which helped him to forget about his solitude.
In the school, where he was sent, he was mocked at because of his club foot. These mocking made him very timid and bashful, it seemed to him that suffer was his destiny. Philip begged God to make him healthy, and after it had not happened, he was the only one he blamed. He thought that his faith was not strong enough. He hated school, and there was no way he considered continuing his education at Oxford, as his uncle wanted. Philip himself wanted to study in Germany, and he managed to achieve his aim.
In Germany Philip got acquainted with Hayward and got under his influence. Hayward was talented and rather out of the common. The arguments of Hayward with other people about religion and literature left a very significant track in Philip’s soul: in one moment he understood that did not believe in God anymore, was not afraid of hell, and a human should be responsible for his deeds only before himself.
Having returned from Germany to England Philip met a daughter of the former Mr. Carey’s assistant in Blackstable. She was about 30, mincing and rather flirtatious. At first Philip did not like her, but even though, she became soon his lover. Being very proud Philip wrote Hayward about his love affair, describing it very vividly and romantically. But in fact when Ms. Wilkinson left he was rather relieved, but he felt a little sad because the really did not coincide with the dreams.
Mr. Carey having already accepted the Philip’s unwillingness to study at Oxford, sent him to London to become a clerk. But this profession was not for Philip and without friends he felt really lonely in a big city. But then he got a letter from Hayward with an invitation to go to Paris and study there art. It seemed to Philip that this idea had been maturing in his soul as well, and disregarding his uncle’s objections Philip left for Paris. There he joined the artistic studio and met a girl called Fanny Price. She was rather unattractive and not neat. Nobody could stand her because of her rudeness and self-conceit, even though she had little talent in drawing. But she helped Philip to adapt to circumstances and he stayed very grateful.
The life of Paris bohemia changed Philip’s world outlook: he did not consider anymore ethical tasks the main for art, but as before saw the life in the spectrum of Christian virtue. Cronshaw, a poet, a new friend of Philip, did not agree with such a statement, and offered Philip to have a look at Persian carpet, in order to comprehend the true sense of human existence.
When Fanny learnt about Philip’s soon departure she made an awful scene, and it became clear that she loved him. When he returned he did not see Fanny in the studio, and forgot about her. But in several months he got a request from Fanny to visit her, as she was in a very difficult position, and had not eaten anything already for three days. When Philip came he found out that Fanny had committed a suicide. This event shacked Philip to the bottom of his soul, he was tortured by the feelings of guilt. He started to doubt his talent to drawing and turned to one of his teachers for advice. The teacher recommended Philip to leave art and start a new life, as he would be able to become only a moderate artist.
The news of his aunt’s death made Philip leave Paris forever and come back to Blackstable. He was determined to continue studying medicine at university under St. Luka Hospital in London. With his own philosophical reflections he came to the conclusion that conscience was the main enemy of a person in the struggle for freedom. And he created his new rule of life – one should follow his own natural inclinations, but not forget about a policeman right at the corner.
One day he tried to start a conversation with a waitress called Mildred, but she refused, which offended his pride. Soon Philip realized that he had fallen in love with her, even though he understood all her flaws. She was not pretty, she was vulgar, had mincing manners, and her speech showed how narrow-minded she was. But Philip wanted to get her anyway, and he realized it would be disastrous for him. Mildred declared that she was going to get married, and Philip, understanding that the main reason of his suffering was his wounded conceit, and he despised himself not less than Mildred. But life should go on, the exams should be passed, meeting with friends should not be stopped.
His faith in himself returned when he met a young and attractive woman called Norah Nesbit. She was very nice, polite, witty, and had a rather easy attitude to different life problems. All that together helped Philip to cure his injured soul wounds. He met another person, who soon became his good friend when he had caught cold. It was young doctor Harry Griffiths.
Everything seemed to come to normal but Mildred came back. She was pregnant, and when her fiancé learnt about that he confessed that was married and sent Mildred away. Philip left Norah and started to help Mildred, so strong his love was. Newborn girl Mildred gave away into foster care. She did not want to be concern about her in any way, and meanwhile Mildred fell in love with Harry Griffiths and had intimacy with him. Insulted Philip nevertheless still hoped she would come back to him. Now he often thought of Norah, who loved him truly and he treated her so rudely. He decided to get her back, but she was engaged. Soon the rumor that Griffiths broke up with Mildred reached his ear.
Philip kept on studying and working as an assistant at the outpatients' clinic. Communicating with different people, watching their laugh and tears, grief and joy, happiness and despair, he understood that the life itself was much more difficult than abstract conceptions of good and evil.
Cronshaw visited London trying to print his poems. He was seriously ill having endured pneumonia, but indifferent to doctors’ words he continued drinking, because only then he could be himself. Philip wanted to help his friend, and let him live in his rooms, but he soon died. The thought of his own meaninglessness oppressed Philip, and a rule of enduring everything seemed silly to him now.
Philip became good friends with one of his patients. Thorpe Athelny had hospitable wife and cheerful children. Philip liked being at their house, warming himself near a fireplace. Athelny familiarized Philip with El Greco’s pictures. Philip was amazed, it got open to him that self-denial was not less passionate and resolute than obedience to passions. He soon met Mildred again, who this time was making for a living by prostitution. Philip did not experience his loving feelings anymore, and only out of pity offered her to be his housemaid, make dinner and do housework. But Mildred did nothing, and was not looking for a job, she used to live on Philip’s money.
In search for some additional income, Philip started speculate at the stock exchange, and his first try turned out to be very successful, that he afforded himself an operation on his leg, and went with Mildred to sea. There they lived in separate rooms. Mildred got very angry about that, she wanted everyone think that Philip was her husband, and on returning to London she tried to seduce him. But it did not work well, Philip endured to her physical aversion, and she in rage left, but having left a terrible mess in his room.
All the savings Philip spent on moving into a new apartment. To improve his financial position Philip started speculating at the exchange again and came to ruin. His uncle refused him to help, and Philip had to leave the studies, move out of his rooms, and spend his nights on the street and simple go hungry. When Athelny learnt about Philip’s misfortunes, he helped him to get a job at a shop.
News on Hayward’s death made Philip again ponder over the sense of human’s life, and he reflected upon Cronshaw’s words of a Persian carpet. And Philip interpreted it that though a person aimlessly wove a tracery of his own life, but plaiting into it different threats everyone created his own life, and should be satisfied with this choice. The uniqueness of the picture carried its sense. At this period of his life Philip met Mildred for the last time. She wrote him that she was ill and her little daughter died. When he came to visit her he learnt that she returned to her former work. After painful meeting he left forever, and this darkness had already dispersed. Philip’s uncle died, and his legacy let Philip continue his studies. He was very good at it, and was even offered to become a companion of Dr. South.
Philip liked the eldest of Athelny’s daughters Sally. One time when they all went out of town, things happened between Philip and Sally, and later she said that was pregnant. Philip decided to sacrifice himself and marry Sally. It turned out that Sally was mistaken, and was not pregnant, but Philip did not feel any relief, and that’s when he realized that the marriage was not self-sacrifice and giving up one’s made-up ideals for family happiness was the best of all the victories. Sally agreed to become his wife, and Philip finally found happiness, his soul had been looking for such a long time.
