The irony of discipline
In the novel, the father rules him home with an iron fist. He rehearses his rules as a drill commander would, and he purposefully uses violence as terrorism, controlling his home with fear. Notice the ironic lack of discipline in his own private life, in his morality, in his responsibilities. He is both a vicious tyrant and a completely indulgent person with no self-regulation.
The irony of the abuse cycle
Nothing is more tragic than when a person's abuse toward another causes them to abuse others. This happens because the abuse typically instills emotions in that other person of victimhood and injustice. Then, when they see an opportunity to demonstrate the behaviors they see used in their home, it is typically a slippery slope, and this story is no exception. The narrator is sliding toward his father's vices.
The irony of drug addiction
As an adult, the father is like a child in the home, and when he can't have his drugs of choice, he is like a toddler without his pacifier. But the problem is that he is the patriarch of his home, and he enforces his dominion with absolute tyranny. Ironically, he is weak, because he is so clearly dependent on the chemical crutches of his addictions. Ironically, the narrator inherits these problems just like the toxic demonstration of masculinity.
The irony of toxic masculinity
It would be a mistake to miss the ironic title. One of the Boys suggests that there is a systemic problem with the style of masculinity that is demonstrated to boys in the home by immature fathers. Because calm repose is a sign of maturity, the narrator is unlikely to find it. Why? Not because he is evil! Simply because his father only taught him one way of approaching masculinity, and it happened to be a toxic demonstration.
The irony of freedom
When abuse happens in the home, there is a horrific ironic about freedom. To become free is to hold the abusive person accountable for their abuse, and in this case, the hesitation to free herself from her husband makes the mother unwilling to do what's right for her child. The ironic journey toward freedom involves admitting that they are being abused, which is not likely to be resolved by confrontation, for obvious reasons. They must escape their own home.
