"Lana Turner has collapsed!"
The speaker repeats a headline he has just seen that announces Lana Turner's collapse. This line propels the poem's action and sets the humorous, sensational tone for the lines that follow.
"...you said it was hailing/but hailing hits you on the head"
The speaker elaborates on the weather he experienced, bringing in the input of an unnamed, second-person figure. The juxtaposition between the second figure's comments and the speaker's experience parallels the hearsay of tabloid publications. The verb the speaker uses to describe hail, "hit," could also correspond to the shock value of sensational news.
"there is no snow in Hollywood/ there is no rain in California"
These lines, which immediately follow the speaker's repetition of the headline in the middle of the poem, begin the speaker's response to the tabloid. The speaker shifts from describing his actions to articulating his thoughts. The tone of these lines maintains the poem's humorous nature, while also calling attention to a key difference between life in New York and life in California.
"I have been to lots of parties/ and acted perfectly disgraceful/ but I never actually collapsed"
By comparing his experience to Lana Turner's, the speaker pokes fun at Turner's collapse. At the same time, these lines also call attention to the distinction between speaker and Turner, and humanize Turner's exhaustion. They emphasize the impact of Hollywood culture upon its biggest stars, and hint at the realities of the pressures these stars face.
"oh Lana Turner we love you get up"
Although the speaker is not directly addressing Turner, he's still rooting for her to get up and return to the glamorous image for which she was known. His tone suggests that whatever caused her collapse can only be so bad, while the truth beneath his humor hints at the distance from which fans regard their favorite stars. The "we" corresponds to the national audience in front of which Turner stands: everyone is watching, and everyone wants her to get back to work, regardless of her current state.
