“My mum all those years ago sensed a child who had been adopted was also a child who could feel terribly hurt. And no matter how much she loved me, no matter how much my dad loved me, there is still a windy place right at the core of my heart.”
The autobiography explores the nature of adopted children and their journey to come into terms with their status and seeking their identity. Kay is curious to know where she comes from even though her identity is ensnared with the nurture of adoptive parents. As a creative and a new mother she suddenly feels the need to know her past and biological parents. Even though her adoptive parents are very caring and everything any child would hope for, the curiosity is something they anticipated in them. Thus, in the assertion Kay knows her parents understand the dynamic of adoption and nature of the children since both their kids are adopted.
“You think adoption is a story which has an end. But the point about it is that it has no end. It keeps changing its ending.”
Akin to the title of the memoir Kay’s life is a journey about her adoption and the subsequent chain of events. The statement highlights that while adoption is a process that appears over when foster parents adopt a child it is however far from over. In that, the child has to become acquainted with the new parents and if too young will have to figure out they are adopted later in life. Consequently, they have to come to terms with that fact while sometimes they will also be curious to know their biological parents. They harbor identity crises, as they are not sure if their nature originates from the foster parents or it is genetic. In Kay’s case, she also has to deal with the indifferent nature of her biological parents when she finally encounters them. Thus, as the assertion alludes adoption is an ever-evolving journey.
“The man can talk. We have that in common…”
One of the things adopted children always grapple with is the idea of nature versus nurture. To know if they are more like their adoptive parents who raised them or their biological parents in terms of identity. Kay is adamant to discover her identity or rather calm her curiosity and what-ifs questions. Therefore, she goes on to meet her biological father and mother at different points and assesses their personality. During her meeting with her father, she observes the genetic elements that passed down to her such as talkativeness. However, she is less than pleased by his self-righteousness and indifference regarding his past which would have made him less of a good father to her.
