“To protest that some fairly improbable people, some people who could not possibly respect themselves, seem to sleep easily enough is to miss the point entirely, as surely as those people miss it who think that self-respect has necessarily to do with not having safety pins in one's underwear. There is a common superstition that "self-respect" is a kind of charm against snakes, something that keeps those who have it locked in some unblighted Eden, out of strange beds, ambivalent conversations, and trouble in general. It does not at all. It has nothing to do with the face of things, but concerns instead a separate peace, a private reconciliation.”
Didion accentuates the worth of distinguishing and cherishing one’s self-worth. Through self-esteem, one can learn to overwhelm the outlooks of uselessness. Self-respect is a safeguard which all people should adopt to have heart-warming lives. Alluding to Eden stresses the composure that is fundamental in individuals who are conscious of their worth. Self- respect is a trait that cannot be replaced by any other perception. Development of self-esteem is a private concern that does not oblige external participants to kindle its realism.
“In brief, people with self-respect exhibit a certain toughness, a kind of moral nerve; they display what was once called character, a quality which, although approved in the abstract, sometimes loses ground to other, more instantly negotiable virtues. The measure of its slipping prestige is that one tends to think of it only in connection with homely children and with United States senators who have been defeated, preferably in the primary, for re-election. Nonetheless, character—the willingness to accept responsibility for one's own life—is the source from which self-respect springs.”
Courage is obligatory for individuals’ self-esteem; accordingly, they would not be petrified of being themselves. Such individuals would not superfluously betray their characters and virtues to amaze others. They have the potential of perpetuating their ethos regardless of the settings. A credible character is not terrified of being answerable for his or her blunders. Solidity of integrity promotes self-respect.
“To have that sense of one's intrinsic worth which, for better or for worse, constitutes self-respect, is potentially to have everything: the ability to discriminate, to love and to remain indifferent. To lack it is to be locked within oneself, paradoxically incapable of either love or indifference. If we do not respect ourselves, we are on the one hand forced to despise those who have so few resources as to consort with us, so little perception as to remain blind to our fatal weaknesses. On the other, we are peculiarly in thrall to everyone we see, curiously determined to live out—since our self-image is untenable—their false notions of us. We flatter ourselves by thinking this compulsion to please others an attractive trait: a gift for imaginative empathy, evidence of our willingness to give.”
Self- respect is principally instinctive; hence, it should surpass the peripheral meters such as idealistic facades. Insufficiency of self-respect makes it tough for an individual to have cohesive sentiments regarding his/ her worth. Adoring oneself unconditionally is vital in distinguishing the faults that could be adverse to innate self- respect which dictates the image that one shows to others. Endeavoring to astonish other people, at the expense of self-respect, is a flaw which is unfavorable to one’s confidence.
“It might have been anyone’s bad summer, anyone’s siege of heat and nerves and migraine and money worries, but this one began particularly early and particularly badly. On April 24 an old friend, Elaine Hayton, died suddenly; Lucille Miller had seen her only the night before. During the month of May, Cork Miller was hospitalized briefly with a bleeding ulcer, and his usual reserve deepened into depression. He told his accountant that he was “sick of looking at open mouths,” and threatened suicide. By July 8, the conventional tensions of love and money had reached the conventional impasee in the new house on the acre lot at 8488 Bella Vista, and Lucille Miller filed for divorce. Within a month , however, the Millers seemed reconciled. They saw a marriage counsellor. They talked about a fourth child. It seemed that the marriage had reached a traditional truce, the point at which so many resign themselves to cutting both their losses and their hopes.”
The summer is not categorically deficient of plights notwithstanding its temperateness. Elaine Hayton’s death foreshadows the imminent quandaries for the entire summer season. Cork Miller’s depression is a display of mental strain which is ascribed to the financial and marital complications. His intimidations of committing suicide conjecture that he his depression is life-threatening; accordingly, he is preoccupied with death for he thinks that it would help him to elude all the issues that are intimidating his dreams and wellbeing. Lucille Miller’s resolution to file for a divorce surmises that they are not presently relishing the marital bliss which they had projected when they wedded. Their compromise offers hopes about the prospects of the marriage succeeding. The Miller’s position emulates that of many couples who are in quandary; hence, marriage counseling is imperative, for it alleviates deadly aftermaths such as suicide.
