Photographs as Stores of Memory
Throughout the book, Hsu refers to photos taken of him, Ken, and their friends. In the opening section of the book, Hsu describes a memory of night he and his friends drove out to spend a night at a house a few hours outside of Berkeley. In the morning, he writes, “everyone emerged from their own corner of the house, and Ken stepped out onto the deck, holding a mug of coffee" (p. 10). As Hsu elaborates, “I have a photo of him still as he looks out toward the morning, clouds reflecting in his glasses. He wore glasses only on occasion, in a manner that made him seem serious, grown-up—never a nerd" (p. 12).
This is just one instance in which Hsu describes a photograph, and a number of Hsu's photos from the time are also printed in the book. In fact, the cover of the book is a photograph of Hsu taking a photograph. While it perhaps goes without saying, these photographs are an important symbol both of the past and of Hsu's memory of the past. Indeed, while the photographs only contain one static image, they trigger a flood of memories for Hsu that extend far beyond the camera's frame. At times, Hsu questions how he can accurately depict the memories of events that happened over two decades ago, and these photographs help inform the process. In this way, each photograph means so much more than what is depicted within it.
The Music of Pearl Jam
Music is an important motif which recurs throughout Stay True. Hsu references a number of bands and musicians who influenced his development, including Nirvana and Pavement. As he argues, one's taste in music can be seen as an indication of their personality and values. When he meets Ken, Hsu scoffs at the fact that his new friend likes the band Pearl Jam. At the time, Pearl Jam were one of the most popular groups in the world, and Hsu preferred more obscure and alternative music. Again and again throughout the book, Hsu references the fact that Ken liked Pearl Jam. At one point, he even writes that “it was a sign of personal growth... that I could be friends with someone who liked Pearl Jam this much” (p. 70). After Ken is killed, Hsu has a dream in which Ken appears and forces Hsu into “admitting that [he] had gone out and bought a Pearl Jam CD in his absence" (p. 159). While one might be troubled by the appearance of a dead friend in a dream, Hsu writes, “I woke up smiling.”
Hsu uses Pearl Jam as a motif to emphasize the differences between him and Ken. Indeed, he seems to suggest that it was unlikely that he and Ken ever became friends in the first place. At the same, he suggests that true friendship is able to transcend differences like that of musical taste, and that what made his bond with Ken so strong was that they were able to find commonality despite all these differences.
The Bracelet from Eddy
During his time at Berkeley, Hsu works tutoring prisoners at the San Quentin prison. Over the course of several months, he develops close connections with inmates, particularly one named Eddy who was involved in organized crime and whom Hsu describes as being "quiet and polite" (p. 157). One day, Hsu tells Eddy about Ken. In response, Hsu writes, Eddy said that “he and the other men in the college program were, on the whole, penitent about their pasts” (p. 160). In a sense, this helps Hsu humanize the prisoners and also find a measure of peace after Ken's death. Then, during Hsu's final shift working at the prison, Eddy gifts him “a bracelet made of tiny green and yellow beads that he had crafted” (p. 162). This bracelet symbolizes the bond between Eddy and Hsu. Moreover, it symbolizes Hsu's understanding that even people who have committed heinous crimes are capable of remorse, forgiveness, and human connection.
The Automobile
The car is a prominent symbol in American literature. As in novels like Jack Kerouac's On the Road, cars and the highway system have come to symbolize mobility, independence, and freedom. Hsu directly engages with this tradition of symbolism in the opening pages of Stay True. In fact, the opening line of the book is "back then, there was no such thing as spending too much time in the car” (p. 10). From here, Hsu proceeds to describe in vivid detail the drives that he would take with his friends around the Bay Area of California. Unsurprisingly, these drives created a sense of adventure, exploration, and connection between friends, as Hsu describes the “fun, minor danger of driving in a caravan, as though on a secret mission, weaving through traffic, carefully looking in the rearview to see that everyone else was still behind you” (p. 11).
Later in the book, however, the symbolism of the car is dramatically altered. Shortly before he is killed, Ken is forced into the trunk of his car by three attackers, who proceed to take his credit cards before killing him. Grieving for his friend, Hsu is particularly trouble by the thought of “Ken’s final minutes, trapped in the trunk of his own car" (p. 169). While the novel began with the car as a symbol of freedom and adventure, here it has become a coffin-like symbol of confinement and inescapability. In this way, Hsu engages with the symbolism of the automobile to emphasize the tragedy of Ken's death at such a young age.
The Fly
Towards the end of the book, a curious motif develops. During the week of Ken's funeral, Hsu writes that "flies were everywhere" (p. 127). He describes flies appearing everywhere, including on the page of his journal. Then, During Ken's funeral, Hsu approaches the open casket just as “a fly landed on his cheek” (p. 127). Subsequently, Hsu and his mother travel to Taiwan to visit Hsu's father. While there, they visit a temple to pay tribute to their ancestors. Hsu describes how he approached the altar and “began whispering to him” – that is, Ken. After saying a prayer and opening his eyes, Hsu notices that a fly has "landed on a string of beads” (p. 138). Later, Hsu writes that “maybe there was no justice, only randomness, and everything I had endowed with meaning—the flies, the right song on the radio at an unexpected time—was just a coincidence” (p. 151).
The recurrence of the flies is, in a sense, an articulation of Hsu's grieving process. After the senseless of Ken's death, Hsu tries to find connections and patterns as a way to find meaning, and, perhaps, justice. As he later realizes, however, the things that he had ascribed meaning to were just coincidences. In this way, he demonstrates how grief can alter our thought processes and warp reality if only to help us cope with the sadness of our situations.
