Mr. Smith
A stuffy, boring middle-class Englishman. Very one-dimensional, talks in cliches and makes dull observations. Unlike Mr. Martin, he loves to disagree with his wife. His genericness makes him an everyman. At the end of the play, he changes roles with Mr. Martin.
Mrs. Smith
A talkative woman who goes on and on about what she ate, a parody of English bourgeois like her husband- talking in cliches, repetitive dialogue, constant bickering, and non-sequiturs. At the end of the play, she swaps roles with Mrs. Martin.
Mr. Martin
More accomplished and developed than Mr. Smith, as he can remember his wife, but he is essentially the same person as they trade places at the end of the play.
Mrs. Martin
Counterpart to Mrs. Smith, and wife of Mr. Martin, a more opinionated character, who may not be a deep thinker but has more to say than the other four main characters. Trades places with Mrs. Smith at the end of the play.
Mary
The pushy maid character, as seen in many of Ionesco's plays. She works for the Smiths. She had a past relationship with the Fire Chief.
Fire Chief
Appears randomly to put out a non-existent fire. The most developed character, but the smallest role, the Fire Chief is the male lover/hero character in this play.