Childhood Trauma
Danny and Maeve have a tough childhood, to say the least. Their mother leaves them, their father is often distant, and they gain a stepmother who more or less hates them. They are comfortable for a time, but when they lose their father and Andrea throws them out, they are left with practically nothing. Their inability to fully grieve their father before they are tossed out from the only home they've ever known with practically nothing to their name is an emotional burden that they only barely slough off, and not for many decades. Patchett explores how the two siblings deal with this trauma in both successful and unsuccessful ways.
Memory and Nostalgia
Memory and nostalgia permeate every page of this novel. Danny and Maeve cannot help themselves from obsessively reminiscing about their past even when it is painful and unhealthy to do so. They seem stuck in it, unable to fully move forward. The past is exquisitely miserable, and holding onto it tightly makes the two of them feel alive. Another element of memory is that it is fallible and fungible. Danny often wonders if he's remembering things correctly or interpreting them correctly, and he is surprised to find out certain things he took as truth were slightly or completely different. Patchett suggests that to live in the past is to live in something that can shift over time or perhaps be a fabrication altogether; also, living too much in the past prevents a person from completely engaging in who they are now.
Forgiveness
Forgiveness is not something that comes easily to the central characters, who take themselves to be so very wronged by many people in their lives. In fact, Danny and Maeve nourish their anger and bitterness for many decades before they can even contemplate forgiving Andrea. Their anger only dies out when they see what fate has done to Andrea, and Patchett suggests that forgiving her earlier may have been the healthier—but certainly not easier—thing to do. As for Elna, Maeve does forgive her with alacrity because she desperately wants a mother instead of having to act like one. Danny is not so quick to forgive Elna, but even he comes to see that forgiveness is necessary—first, so that Maeve can have her mother back, and second, after Maeve's death, so that Danny can finally open himself up to family in all of its messy but necessary particulars.
Gender Roles
Patchett subtly reveals the ways in which gender roles shape people's lives, whether they want them to or not. The initial obvious example of this theme is Celeste, whom Danny realizes later in life would probably have wanted to be a doctor herself instead of merely thinking she wanted to marry a doctor. Danny makes all the decisions for both of them, and Celeste merely has to make things easy for him. The more complicated example is Maeve, a smart, dynamic, capable, and ambitious young woman who nevertheless ends up devoting her life to her brother. She eschews more schooling for herself, does not have a family of her own, and seems to really only come alive at the end of her life when her mother returns. Yet Maeve isn't a total martyr: in many cases, she controls Danny. He is weak, she is strong, and she often does what she wants. It is not entirely clear if she is being self-abnegating when it comes to her own life, or if this is what she actually wants. Patchett thus makes us aware of these gender roles while giving us characters who are far from gender stereotypes.
Wealth and Poverty
Patchett has said, "I really wanted to write a book about somebody who doesn’t want to be rich. And somebody who has money and loses it, and somebody who has money and walks away from it." Having money does not make people happy in this novel: Cyril makes money but does not seem to enjoy it; Elna is miserable in her fancy home; Andrea is consumed by her bitterness and spite and ends up literally unable to comprehend her status because she loses her memories. Wealth doesn't protect the children from trauma, and they are almost happier without it. Maeve cares nothing for money even though she could have a lot more of it, paralleling Elna. And, ultimately, money doesn't help Danny or Maeve deal with their past. Patchett makes a case for family, love, forgiveness, and compassion as superior to material success.
Obligation
Many of the characters do things because they are obligated to, not because they want to. Though this can sometimes be problematic, it usually speaks of pragmatism and, in many cases, love. Danny in particular embraces the concept of obligation when it comes to dealing with Elna for Maeve's sake. He explains, "And so I made the decision to change...The point wasn't whether or not I liked it. The point was it had to be done" (298). He sees that there are some things more important than resentment or anger, and, as he did with chemistry and medical school, he commits himself to simply doing them.
Unhealthy Patterns
The novel comments upon human nature, as many "fairy tales" do; in particular, it comments upon our propensity to stubbornly and continually do things that are not good for us. In an interview, Patchett referred to this theme, saying, "Why do we repeat harmful patterns? Why do we cling to the familiar when the unfamiliar is so destructive? NO CLUE." Maeve's cigarettes are one tiny example, but her and Danny's inability to let their fixation on the Dutch House and Andrea go is burdensome and deleterious. It's not just a bad habit: it is also a way of life that is slowly eating away at them. Thankfully, Patchett also writes of other aspects of human nature that allow us to confront these habits: the ability to forgive, the ability to reconcile, and the ability to move on.
