Summary
Chapter 5: Short Shrift
The merchants are angry and talk loudly. Amid the cacophony the police force arrives – a two-foot-tall officer named Officer Shrift. He blows his whistle loudly and yells red-faced that everyone is guilty. He walks around and peers suspiciously at people, making notes in his little book. He tells the flustered Humbug he looks suspicious.
Officer Shrift turns to Milo and asks what he was doing on July 27th. Confused, Milo asks what that has to do with it. The officer makes a note that Milo forgot his birthday. He then lists Milo’s crimes of having a dog with an unauthorized alarm, “sowing confusion, upsetting the applecart, wreaking havoc, and mincing words” (62). As he is also the judge, he gives Milo a six-million-year sentence, and as he is also the jailer, he takes him into the dark, dank dungeon where he will serve his time. He tells Milo he can always talk to the witch. This frightens Milo.
Milo and Tock are in their cell, which has tall walls and tiny windows way up. Milo muses that he does not know what they will do for all that time. Tock asks for a wind-up. Milo acquiesces and says that he realizes now how dangerous it is to mix up words.
A voice from across the cell commends him. Startled, Milo and Tock see a pleasant, little old lady sitting and knitting. When she says she is the witch, the two are even more discomfited. She suggests they calm down, because she is actually only a Which and her name is Faintly Macabre. She explains that she is the king’s great-aunt and for years her job was to choose the words used for all occasions. It was a wonderful and respectable job and she never wasted any words. However, the power corrupted her and she became miserly with words. People became afraid to buy and the kingdom fell on hard times. She posted signs like “Speak Fitly or Be Silent Wisely” and “Silence is Golden” everywhere. Talk stopped, no words were sold, and the king cast her into a dungeon. Now there is no new Which, which is why words are used unwisely. She sadly says people have either forgotten her or think of her as a witch, not a which.
Milo and Tock offer that they do not find her frightening, and she gives them a punctuation mark to eat. She comments that she hopes Rhyme and Reason will return. When Milo and Tock say they want to hear this story, she agrees and begins.
Chapter 6: Faintly Macabre’s Story
Once upon a time the land was known as Null. It was dry, isolated, rocky or desert in parts, and full of evil creatures. One day a ship arrived; on board was a young prince seeking the future. He claimed the land and battled with all the monster and ogres. The prince was left with a small parcel of land near the sea, which is where he built his city.
Over time the city’s borders expanded outward. It encountered resistance but always emerged victorious. Soon it was known as the kingdom of Wisdom, and every spring the king (no longer just a prince) and his army conquered more territory.
The king married and had two fine sons. When he approached the end of his life, he told them they must found their own cities so the kingdom could grow. One built Dictionopolis, the city of words, and the other built Digitopolis, the city of numbers. Both cities grew rapidly and pushed the terrible creatures of the wilderness to the furthest boundaries of the land.
The brothers were very competitive, though, and each thought his city was better. The old king did not know about their rivalry and was happy in his twilight years. He did wish he had daughters, and was elated to find two beautiful little girls left in a grape arbor. He delightedly decided to raise them as his own, and they became known as the Princesses of Rhyme and Reason.
When the king died, the sons went to their respective cities: Azaz went to rule Dictionopolis and the Mathemagician went to rule Digitopolis. They provided for the girls, who grew up lovely and wise. They could solve all problems, so people from all over the kingdom visited them for their counsel.
They helped Azaz and the Mathemagician many times, but the brothers’ conflicts became more and more vexing. They finally nearly came to blows over whether numbers or words were more important, so they submitted the question to the princesses. The princesses discussed and concluded both were equally important. The brothers were irate and banished them to the Castle in the Air. They have not been seen since. The cities have prospered but the kingdom of Wisdom falters.
When Faintly Macabre concludes her story, Milo muses that perhaps they can help rescue them. The which sighs that it would be difficult, and there is probably not much a little boy and dog can do. She does tell them, though, that the jail cell door is not locked and they can leave at any time.
Milo and Tock bid her farewell and step out. Immediately the king’s advisors rush toward Milo, telling him he must come to the banquet now.
Chapter 7: The Royal Banquet
The advisers lead Milo and Tock to the palace, which looks like an actual book. Inside is glittering and luxurious, and footmen bow coldly to them. The banquet room is vast, with endless tables and attendants and people talking. Milo recognizes the Humbug, the Spelling Bee, and Officer Shrift among others.
The Humbug shakes his hand and tells him that since he is the guest of honor he will be choosing the menu. Milo tries to think, but trumpets herald the entrance of King Azaz the Unabridged. A massive man with a small crown and a robe with the alphabet lettered on it takes his seat on the throne.
Milo introduces himself and Tock and compliments the palace. The advisers chime in his synonyms. The king asks what Milo can do to entertain them and when Milo says he does not know much the king scoffs that he is an ordinary boy. He states his cabinet members can do things like “make mountains out of molehills” and “makes hay while the sun shines” (85). When Milo humbly says he can count to a thousand the king thunders that he should not use numbers here.
The Humbug reminds him about dinner and Milo suggests a light meal. Waiters rush in with platters and put them before the king. When he lifts the top, brilliant light shines out. The Humbug commends it as an attractive but insubstantial meal. Milo then suggests a square meal and out come platters of squares.
Everyone else begins to state actual food and it appears before him or her. Milo sighs that he did not know he would have to eat his words. The advisers offer him a ragamuffin and a synonym bun.
When it comes time for dessert, the king announces that the half bakery, the only logical creator of half-baked ideas, provides it. The Humbug plucks “THE EARTH IS FLAT” and eats it. Milo also sees “EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR THE BEST” and “NIGHT AIR IS BAD AIR” among others.
Chapter 8: The Humbug Volunteers
The guests finish up their dessert and file out of the room. The king prepares to give a speech but Milo hesitantly tells him no one is there anymore. The king sadly says this happens every time and that they’ve gone to dinner. Milo is confused and asks why they don’t have dinner before the banquet. The king roars that is now a new decree. Milo wonders if that is better and the king comments that things are equally bad and equally good. Milo says all the words are confusing and make things worse.
The king unhappily assents. His advisers make suggestions about bargains and related things, but Milo says quietly that inviting Rhyme and Reason back may help. Azaz agrees it would be nice but rues that it would be difficult. The Humbug also agrees but says it might be a simple task for “a brave lad with a stout heart, a steadfast dog, and a serviceable small automobile” (96). The king and Milo tell him to go on. The Humbug continues, saying all Milo would have to do would be to travel the long and scary road into unknown wastes and chasms and reach Digitopolis and convince the Mathemagician to agree. He won’t, but if he does, then Milo must go to the Mountains of Ignorance with its myriad demons and climb the two-thousand-step staircase to the Castle and rescue the princesses and bring them back. Then there will be a parade and hot chocolate and cookies.
The king smiles that he never thought it would be so simple but Milo thinks it sounds dangerous. The king says that there is actually something even more serious but he cannot tell Milo until he returns. He assures him that all the glory is his though, and that Dictionopolis will always be grateful. He hands Milo a box that contains all the words he knows; he tells him to use them well. He adds that the Humbug will accompany him as a guide. The bug is startled, but when Azaz compliments his bravery and resourcefulness he glows with pleasure.
Milo and Tock ruminate on what kind of journey is ahead, and the Humbug then begins to wonder what he is signed up for.
Analysis
Milo’s archetypal heroic journey continues, and in these chapters he actually seems to get another call and an opportunity to answer it. After getting thrown in jail for disrupting the marketplace, he learns from Faintly Macabre about the tensions in the kingdom of Wisdom due to Azaz and the Mathemagician’s dispute over the supremacy of words or numbers. When he hears about the princesses Rhyme and Reason he suggests he might try to rescue them. Faintly Macabre gently scoffs that this would be impossible, but Milo is courageous enough to bring it up once more after the royal banquet. Azaz gives his assent but a tremendous hurdle is the peril of the journey, which the Humbug describes in terrifying detail. Milo has a chance to decline this quest, and although he does express some halting reservations, he ultimately chooses to undertake it.
As with most heroic journey narratives, our hero does not journey alone. The steadfast and smart Tock is by his side, as is the bumbling but likeable Humbug. Chapter 8 thus ends on a note of excitement and apprehension (mixed with Juster’s trademark witty and wry tone): “Milo and Tock wondered what strange adventures lay ahead. The Humbug speculated on how he’d ever become involved in such a hazardous undertaking. And the crowd waved and cheered wildly, for, while they didn’t care at all about anyone arriving, they were always very pleased to see someone go” (100). There isn’t a tollbooth, but Milo and his friends are leaving the more or less safe lands they’d been in thus far to travel somewhere far and dangerous. As mentioned in a prior analysis, Milo does not have a great deal of defined characteristics, but it is impossible to deny his pluck and courage in agreeing to rescue the princesses.
Also in these chapters is Juster’s continued assertion of the beauty, variety, and power of words. At the marketplace, Milo and Tock marvel at letters and numbers, with Milo in particular becoming fascinated with ones he has never seen before. In prison, he articulates what he has realized about words: “You can get in a lot of trouble mixing up words or just not knowing how to spell them. If we ever get out of here, I’m going to make sure to learn all about them” (65). This is a far cry from the young man who found everything boring and useless.
One of the other elements often associated with the hero’s journey is the “gift of the goddess,” usually referring to something magical that a goddess-type figure gives to the hero to take with them on their quest. An easy example is in The Fellowship of the Ring when Galadriel gives Frodo the light of a precious star in order to light up dark places; his companion Sam will later use this to help save their lives from the massive spider Shelob. King Azaz is hardly a goddess, but he and many others Milo meets bestow upon him precious gifts. King Azaz gives him a box with all the words he knows, explaining “Most of them you will never need, some you will use constantly, but with them you may ask all the questions which have never been answered and answer all the questions which have never been asked… With them there is no obstacle you cannot overcome. All you must learn to do is use them well and in the right places” (97-98).
How these words can fit in the box, how they are stored, and how Milo would use them are, needless to say, perplexing questions. Of course, the novel has been full of perplexing things thus far, and they will only increase as it goes on (what is the sound of Washington crossing the Delaware like? How can a child be .58 a person and be alive? How can someone conduct the sunset with instruments?). Juster has explained that it was initially hard for him to justify the mechanism behind the make-believe, i.e., why and how did the tollbooth appear, and how does his magical land work. Scholar Leonard A. Marcus wrote in his introduction to the Annotated Phantom Tollbooth that “Juster’s breakthrough came with the realization that the reader’s own wish to escape from the boredom of daily routine would itself go a long way toward propelling the fantasy.” Marcus quoted J.R.R. Tolkien on fairy tales: “Fairy-tales were not primarily concerned with possibility, but with desirability.” Readers ultimately don’t need to know how the wardrobe works in Narnia, how magic works in Harry Potter, etc.
