The Dangers of Pride
As Hagar comes to realize towards the end of the book, most of the problems in her life stem from her excessive pride. Her sense of superiority is behind her ill-treatment of others, her refusal to acknowledge when she is wrong, and her inability to compromise with others or to see their point of view. Her behavior throughout the story leads to the destruction of several long-term relationships that might otherwise have sustained her and enriched her life.
Ultimately, her illusory superiority only leads to her own suffering. This point is emphasized in the scene where she is in the hospital and is visited by Mr. Troy, who sings a hymn about rejoicing for God. Previously, Hagar has been reluctant to pray, as belief in a higher power requires the relinquishing of pride and embrace of humility. Yet at this moment, Hagar is finally moved to tears, made to viscerally realize that it is her pride that has imprisoned her throughout whole life, blocking her from the true purposes of life: love and happiness.
Control
One of the things Hagar resists more than anything else is other people's attempts to control her. This is a vestige of her reaction to her excessively controlling father. Hagar began to rebel at an early age, but one of the defining points in her life comes when she decides to marry Bram Shipley, thereby destroying her relationships with most of her family. Her efforts to improve her new husband and to keep him from drinking fail—and she is unable to retain control over her favorite son, whom she loses tragically. But the most prominent example of Hagar's resistance to (what she perceives to be) other people's control comes when she runs away into the woods after discovering that her son and daughter-in-law plan to put her in a nursing home. It is only when Marvin and Doris place her in the hospital—where she is physically restrained at night—that she realizes that control is no longer possible and she begins to come to terms with her own fragility.
Growing Old
The aging process is a central element of The Stone Angel. Few books are told in the point of view of an elderly person, from the perspective of reflecting on one's life as the body weakens. Despite Hagar being a difficult woman most of the time, the reader is still made to sympathize with her predicament and glean insight into how older people become practically invisible. In a society that is very tailored to meet the needs of the young and fit, the elderly are often placed in nursing homes and other institutions, causing them to feel cut-off from their families and normal lives. Since Hagar has felt lonely throughout her life, her age has only exacerbated her circumstance. Yet it also brings a blessing in the sense that, as she degrades physically, she is finally allowed to let go of control and open herself up to others once more.
The Suppression of Emotions
Throughout her life, Hagar constantly suppresses her emotions as an extension of her obsessive need to control herself and others. As a child, she is not moved by seeing a grotesque scene of dying baby chicks. She does not shed a tear when her son John tragically dies in a car accident, having become as emotionally rigid and feelingless as the stone angel of the title. It is not until the end of the book, when she receives kindness from others, that Hagar is finally able to feel and express her emotions, illustrated by the moment when she cries during the minister's hymn.
Resentment
Hagar resents what she perceives to be interference from other people and deliberate attempts by them to control her or to thwart her will. As a young and unmarried woman, she wishes to become a schoolteacher, but her father vetoes the idea, trying to push her into managing the accounts for the store he owns. Whereas her father sees an opportunity for Hagar, she sees only a short-sighted attempt by him to ruin her career plans for his own personal gain. She marries Bram Shipley partly out of resentment, as she knows her father believes Bram to be an unsuitable and unworthy husband. When Hagar insists on marrying him, her father cuts her off without a cent and changes his will so that she will inherit nothing. Jason Currie thus develops his own resentment towards his daughter, whom he refuses to see for the rest of his life. The resentment of these characters stems from their pride and need to be right, which end up isolating them from their family.
Womanhood
What it truly means to be a woman is something that often eludes Hagar in the novel. This is partly due to Hagar coming of age at a time when traditional gender roles are still very much in place, especially in the small-town life of Manawaka. A woman's options in life are often restricted to marriage, childbearing, and the other sorts of "feminine" skills that Hagar learns at finishing school. For her whole life, Hagar is dependent on a man, whether it is her father, her husband, or, later, Mr. Oatley, for whom she works as a housekeeper.
The roles of wife, mother, and daughter do not satisfy Hagar. She refuses to be the heiress to her father's business. She views sexual intimacy with her husband as a chore and burden to bear. Hagar is alienated from her own mothering qualities, having lost her own mother as a newborn. Her emotional rigidity makes it impossible for her to nurture others, at times even becoming apathetic towards her own children. This all contributes to Hagar's sense of always waiting for something more in life and not knowing who she is.
Duty
Throughout the novel, Hagar and characters struggle to understand their duty to their fellow human beings, at times upholding it and at times avoiding it. Early in her life, Hagar neglects the duty to her father and instead chooses to marry Bram Shipley. Once married, Hagar sees a mirror of her own lack of responsibility in Bram, who has difficulty completing the most basic of household chores. This causes Hagar to move away with John, hoping that a new setting will provide John with the clean slate to follow in the footsteps of Jason Currie and perform the duty that Hagar failed to accomplish.
Yet when Bram falls ill, Hagar is motivated by a strong sense of duty, traveling back to Manawaka to visit him and take care of her son. And when Bram dies, Hagar is moved to bury her former husband in the Currie family plot. Although Hagar struggled in her relationships with both her father and her husband, by uniting the families in the graveyard, Hagar is able to somewhat reconcile the past and come to terms with the duty that has often evaded her.
