E-Text

Troilus and Cressida

Act III

SCENE 1. Troy. PRIAM'S palace


[Music sounds within. Enter PANDARUS and a SERVANT.]


PANDARUS.

Friend, you - pray you, a word. Do you not follow the young Lord Paris?


SERVANT.

Ay, sir, when he goes before me.


PANDARUS.

You depend upon him, I mean?


SERVANT.

Sir, I do depend upon the lord.


PANDARUS.

You depend upon a notable gentleman; I must needs praise

him.


SERVANT.

The lord be praised!


PANDARUS.

You know me, do you not?


SERVANT.

Faith, sir, superficially.


PANDARUS.

Friend, know me better: I am the Lord Pandarus.


SERVANT.

I hope I shall know your honour better.


PANDARUS.

I do desire it.


SERVANT.

You are in the state of grace.


PANDARUS.

Grace! Not so, friend; honour and lordship are my titles.

What music is this?


SERVANT.

I do but partly know, sir; it is music in parts.


PANDARUS.

Know you the musicians?


SERVANT.

Wholly, sir.


PANDARUS.

Who play they to?


SERVANT.

To the hearers, sir.


PANDARUS.

At whose pleasure, friend?


SERVANT.

At mine, sir, and theirs that love music.


PANDARUS.

Command, I mean, friend.


SERVANT.

Who shall I command, sir?


PANDARUS.

Friend, we understand not one another: I am too courtly,

and thou art too cunning. At whose request do these men play?


SERVANT.

That's to't, indeed, sir. Marry, sir, at the request of

Paris my lord, who is there in person; with him the mortal Venus,

the heart-blood of beauty, love's invisible soul -


PANDARUS.

Who, my cousin, Cressida?


SERVANT.

No, sir, Helen. Could not you find out that by her attributes?


PANDARUS.

It should seem, fellow, that thou hast not seen the Lady

Cressida. I come to speak with Paris from the Prince Troilus; I

will make a complimental assault upon him, for my business

seethes.


SERVANT.

Sodden business! There's a stew'd phrase indeed!


[Enter PARIS and HELEN, attended.]


PANDARUS.

Fair be to you, my lord, and to all this fair company!

Fair desires, in all fair measure, fairly guide them - especially

to you, fair queen! Fair thoughts be your fair pillow.


HELEN.

Dear lord, you are full of fair words.


PANDARUS.

You speak your fair pleasure, sweet queen. Fair prince,

here is good broken music.


PARIS.

You have broke it, cousin; and by my life, you shall make it

whole again; you shall piece it out with a piece of your

performance.


HELEN.

He is full of harmony.


PANDARUS.

Truly, lady, no.


HELEN.

O, sir -


PANDARUS.

Rude, in sooth; in good sooth, very rude.


PARIS.

Well said, my lord. Well, you say so in fits.


PANDARUS.

I have business to my lord, dear queen. My lord, will you

vouchsafe me a word?


HELEN.

Nay, this shall not hedge us out. We'll hear you sing,

certainly -


PANDARUS.

Well sweet queen, you are pleasant with me. But, marry,

thus, my lord: my dear lord and most esteemed friend, your

brother Troilus -


HELEN.

My Lord Pandarus, honey-sweet lord -


PANDARUS.

Go to, sweet queen, go to - commends himself most

affectionately to you -


HELEN.

You shall not bob us out of our melody. If you do, our

melancholy upon your head!


PANDARUS.

Sweet queen, sweet queen; that's a sweet queen, i' faith.


HELEN.

And to make a sweet lady sad is a sour offence.


PANDARUS.

Nay, that shall not serve your turn; that shall it not,

in truth, la. Nay, I care not for such words; no, no. - And, my

lord, he desires you that, if the King call for him at supper,

you will make his excuse.


HELEN.

My Lord Pandarus!


PANDARUS.

What says my sweet queen, my very very sweet queen?


PARIS.

What exploit's in hand? Where sups he to-night?


HELEN.

Nay, but, my lord -


PANDARUS.

What says my sweet queen?-My cousin will fall out with

you.


HELEN.

You must not know where he sups.


PARIS.

I'll lay my life, with my disposer Cressida.


PANDARUS.

No, no, no such matter; you are wide. Come, your disposer

is sick.


PARIS.

Well, I'll make's excuse.


PANDARUS.

Ay, good my lord. Why should you say Cressida?

No, your poor disposer's sick.


PARIS.

I spy.


PANDARUS.

You spy! What do you spy? - Come, give me an instrument.

Now, sweet queen.


HELEN.

Why, this is kindly done.


PANDARUS.

My niece is horribly in love with a thing you have, sweet

queen.


HELEN.

She shall have it, my lord, if it be not my Lord Paris.


PANDARUS.

He! No, she'll none of him; they two are twain.


HELEN.

Falling in, after falling out, may make them three.


PANDARUS.

Come, come. I'll hear no more of this; I'll sing you a

song now.


HELEN.

Ay, ay, prithee now. By my troth, sweet lord, thou hast a

fine forehead.


PANDARUS.

Ay, you may, you may.


HELEN.

Let thy song be love. This love will undo us all. O Cupid,

Cupid, Cupid!


PANDARUS.

Love! Ay, that it shall, i' faith.


PARIS.

Ay, good now, love, love, nothing but love.


PANDARUS.

In good troth, it begins so.


[Sings.]


Love, love, nothing but love, still love, still more!

For, oh, love's bow

Shoots buck and doe;

The shaft confounds

Not that it wounds,

But tickles still the sore.

These lovers cry, O ho, they die!

Yet that which seems the wound to kill

Doth turn O ho! to ha! ha! he!

So dying love lives still.

O ho! a while, but ha! ha! ha!

O ho! groans out for ha! ha! ha!-hey ho!


HELEN.

In love, i' faith, to the very tip of the nose.


PARIS.

He eats nothing but doves, love; and that breeds hot blood,

and hot blood begets hot thoughts, and hot thoughts beget hot

deeds, and hot deeds is love.


PANDARUS.

Is this the generation of love: hot blood, hot thoughts,

and hot deeds? Why, they are vipers. Is love a generation of

vipers? Sweet lord, who's a-field today?


PARIS.

Hector, Deiphobus, Helenus, Antenor, and all the gallantry

of Troy. I would fain have arm'd to-day, but my Nell would not

have it so. How chance my brothe


HELEN.

He hangs the lip at something. You know all, Lord Pandarus.


PANDARUS.

Not I, honey-sweet queen. I long to hear how they spend

to-day. You'll remember your brother's excuse?


PARIS.

To a hair.


PANDARUS.

Farewell, sweet queen.


HELEN.

Commend me to your niece.


PANDARUS.

I will, sweet queen.


[Exit. Sound a retreat.]


PARIS.

They're come from the field. Let us to Priam's hall

To greet the warriors. Sweet Helen, I must woo you

To help unarm our Hector. His stubborn buckles,

With these your white enchanting fingers touch'd,

Shall more obey than to the edge of steel

Or force of Greekish sinews; you shall do more

Than all the island kings - disarm great Hector.


HELEN.

'Twill make us proud to be his servant, Paris;

Yea, what he shall receive of us in duty

Gives us more palm in beauty than we have,

Yea, overshines ourself.


PARIS.

Sweet, above thought I love thee.Exeunt



ACT III.


SCENE 2. Troy. PANDARUS' orchard


[Enter PANDARUS and TROILUS' BOY, meeting.]


PANDARUS.

How now! Where's thy master? At my cousin Cressida's?


BOY.

No, sir; he stays for you to conduct him thither.


[Enter TROILUS.]


PANDARUS.

O, here he comes. How now, how now!


TROILUS.

Sirrah, walk off.


[Exit Boy.]


PANDARUS.

Have you seen my cousin?


TROILUS.

No, Pandarus. I stalk about her door

Like a strange soul upon the Stygian banks

Staying for waftage. O, be thou my Charon,

And give me swift transportance to these fields

Where I may wallow in the lily beds

Propos'd for the deserver! O gentle Pandar,

from Cupid's shoulder pluck his painted wings,

and fly with me to Cressid!


PANDARUS.

Walk here i' th' orchard, I'll bring her straight.


[Exit.]


TROILUS.

I am giddy; expectation whirls me round.

Th' imaginary relish is so sweet

That it enchants my sense; what will it be

When that the wat'ry palate tastes indeed

Love's thrice-repured nectar? Death, I fear me;

Swooning destruction; or some joy too fine,

Too subtle-potent, tun'd too sharp in sweetness,

For the capacity of my ruder powers.

I fear it much; and I do fear besides

That I shall lose distinction in my joys;

As doth a battle, when they charge on heaps

The enemy flying.


[Re-enter PANDARUS.]


PANDARUS.

She's making her ready, she'll come straight; you must be witty

now. She does so blush, and fetches her wind so short, as

if she were fray'd with a sprite. I'll fetch her. It is the

prettiest villain; she fetches her breath as short as a new-ta'en

sparrow.


[Exit.]


TROILUS.

Even such a passion doth embrace my bosom.

My heart beats thicker than a feverous pulse,

And all my powers do their bestowing lose,

Like vassalage at unawares encount'ring

The eye of majesty.


[Re-enter PANDARUS With CRESSIDA.]


PANDARUS.

Come, come, what need you blush? Shame's a baby. - Here she

is now; swear the oaths now to her that you have sworn to me. -

What, are you gone again? You must be watch'd ere you be made

tame, must you? Come your ways, come your ways; an you draw

backward, we'll put you i' th' fills. - Why do you not speak to

her? - Come, draw this curtain and let's see your picture.

Alas the day, how loath you are to offend daylight! An 'twere

dark, you'd close sooner. So, so; rub on, and kiss the mistress

How now, a kiss in fee-farm! Build there, carpenter; the air is

sweet. Nay, you shall fight your hearts out ere I part you. The

falcon as the tercel, for all the ducks i' th' river. Go to, go

to.


TROILUS.

You have bereft me of all words, lady.


PANDARUS.

Words pay no debts, give her deeds; but she'll bereave

you o' th' deeds too, if she call your activity in question.

What, billing again? Here's 'In witness whereof the parties

interchangeably.' Come in, come in; I'll go get a fire.


[Exit.]


CRESSIDA.

Will you walk in, my lord?


TROILUS.

O Cressid, how often have I wish'd me thus!


CRESSIDA.

Wish'd, my lord! The gods grant - O my lord!


TROILUS.

What should they grant? What makes this pretty abruption?

What too curious dreg espies my sweet lady in the fountain of our

love?


CRESSIDA.

More dregs than water, if my fears have eyes.


TROILUS.

Fears make devils of cherubims; they never see truly.


CRESSIDA.

Blind fear, that seeing reason leads, finds safer footing

than blind reason stumbling without fear. To fear the worst oft

cures the worse.


TROILUS.

O, let my lady apprehend no fear! In all Cupid's pageant

there is presented no monster.


CRESSIDA.

Nor nothing monstrous neither?


TROILUS.

Nothing, but our undertakings when we vow to weep seas,

live in fire, eat rocks, tame tigers; thinking it harder for our

mistress to devise imposition enough than for us to undergo any

difficulty imposed. This is the monstruosity in love, lady, that

the will is infinite, and the execution confin'd; that the desire

is boundless, and the act a slave to limit.


CRESSIDA.

They say all lovers swear more performance than they are

able, and yet reserve an ability that they never perform; vowing

more than the perfection of ten, and discharging less than the

tenth part of one. They that have the voice of lions and the act

of hares, are they not monsters?


TROILUS.

Are there such? Such are not we. Praise us as we are

tasted, allow us as we prove; our head shall go bare till merit

crown it. No perfection in reversion shall have a praise in

present. We will not name desert before his birth; and, being

born, his addition shall be humble. Few words to fair faith:

Troilus shall be such to Cressid as what envy can say worst shall

be a mock for his truth; and what truth can speak truest not

truer than Troilus.


CRESSIDA.

Will you walk in, my lord?


[Re-enter PANDARUS.]


PANDARUS.

What, blushing still? Have you not done talking yet?


CRESSIDA.

Well, uncle, what folly I commit, I dedicate to you.


PANDARUS.

I thank you for that; if my lord get a boy of you, you'll

give him me. Be true to my lord; if he flinch, chide me for it.


TROILUS.

You know now your hostages: your uncle's word and my firm

faith.


PANDARUS.

Nay, I'll give my word for her too: our kindred, though

they be long ere they are wooed, they are constant being won;

they are burs, I can tell you; they'll stick where they are

thrown.


CRESSIDA.

Boldness comes to me now and brings me heart.

Prince Troilus, I have lov'd you night and day

For many weary months.


TROILUS.

Why was my Cressid then so hard to win?


CRESSIDA.

Hard to seem won; but I was won, my lord,

With the first glance that ever-pardon me.

If I confess much, you will play the tyrant.

I love you now; but till now not so much

But I might master it. In faith, I lie;

My thoughts were like unbridled children, grown

Too headstrong for their mother. See, we fools!

Why have I blabb'd? Who shall be true to us,

When we are so unsecret to ourselves?

But, though I lov'd you well, I woo'd you not;

And yet, good faith, I wish'd myself a man,

Or that we women had men's privilege

Of speaking first. Sweet, bid me hold my tongue,

For in this rapture I shall surely speak

The thing I shall repent. See, see, your silence,

Cunning in dumbness, from my weakness draws

My very soul of counsel. Stop my mouth.


TROILUS.

And shall, albeit sweet music issues thence.


PANDARUS.

Pretty, i' faith.


CRESSIDA.

My lord, I do beseech you, pardon me;

'Twas not my purpose thus to beg a kiss.

I am asham'd. O heavens! what have I done?

For this time will I take my leave, my lord.


TROILUS.

Your leave, sweet Cressid!


PANDARUS.

Leave! An you take leave till to-morrow morning -


CRESSIDA.

Pray you, content you.


TROILUS.

What offends you, lady?


CRESSIDA.

Sir, mine own company.


TROILUS.

You cannot shun yourself.


CRESSIDA.

Let me go and try.

I have a kind of self resides with you;

But an unkind self, that itself will leave


To be another's fool. I would be gone.

Where is my wit? I know not what I speak.


TROILUS.

Well know they what they speak that speak so wisely.


CRESSIDA.

Perchance, my lord, I show more craft than love;

And fell so roundly to a large confession

To angle for your thoughts; but you are wise -

Or else you love not; for to be wise and love

Exceeds man's might; that dwells with gods above.


TROILUS.

O that I thought it could be in a woman -

As, if it can, I will presume in you -

To feed for aye her lamp and flames of love;

To keep her constancy in plight and youth,

Outliving beauty's outward, with a mind

That doth renew swifter than blood decays!

Or that persuasion could but thus convince me

That my integrity and truth to you

Might be affronted with the match and weight

Of such a winnowed purity in love.

How were I then uplifted! but, alas,

I am as true as truth's simplicity,

And simpler than the infancy of truth.


CRESSIDA.

In that I'll war with you.


TROILUS.

O virtuous fight,

When right with right wars who shall be most right!

True swains in love shall in the world to come

Approve their truth by Troilus, when their rhymes,

Full of protest, of oath, and big compare,

Want similes, truth tir'd with iteration -

As true as steel, as plantage to the moon,

As sun to day, as turtle to her mate,

As iron to adamant, as earth to th' centre -

Yet, after all comparisons of truth,

As truth's authentic author to be cited,

'As true as Troilus' shall crown up the verse

And sanctify the numbers.


CRESSIDA.

Prophet may you be!

If I be false, or swerve a hair from truth,

When time is old and hath forgot itself,

When waterdrops have worn the stones of Troy,

And blind oblivion swallow'd cities up,

And mighty states characterless are grated

To dusty nothing - yet let memory

From false to false, among false maids in love,

Upbraid my falsehood when th' have said 'As false

As air, as water, wind, or sandy earth,

As fox to lamb, or wolf to heifer's calf,

Pard to the hind, or stepdame to her son' -

Yea, let them say, to stick the heart of falsehood,

'As false as Cressid.'


PANDARUS.

Go to, a bargain made; seal it, seal it; I'll be the

witness. Here I hold your hand; here my cousin's. If ever you

prove false one to another, since I have taken such pains to

bring you together, let all pitiful goers-between be call'd to

the world's end after my name - call them all Pandars; let all

constant men be Troiluses, all false women Cressids, and all

brokers between Pandars. Say 'Amen.'


TROILUS.

Amen.


CRESSIDA.

Amen.


PANDARUS.

Amen. Whereupon I will show you a chamber and a bed; which bed,

because it shall not speak of your pretty encounters, press it to

death.

Away! And Cupid grant all tongue-tied maidens here,

Bed, chamber, pander, to provide this gear!


[Exeunt.]


ACT III.


SCENE 3. The Greek camp


[Flourish. Enter AGAMEMNON, ULYSSES, DIOMEDES, NESTOR, AJAX,

MENELAUS, and CALCHAS.]


CALCHAS.

Now, Princes, for the service I have done,

Th' advantage of the time prompts me aloud

To call for recompense. Appear it to your mind

That, through the sight I bear in things to come,

I have abandon'd Troy, left my possession,

Incurr'd a traitor's name, expos'd myself

From certain and possess'd conveniences

To doubtful fortunes, sequest'ring from me all

That time, acquaintance, custom, and condition,

Made tame and most familiar to my nature;

And here, to do you service, am become

As new into the world, strange, unacquainted -

I do beseech you, as in way of taste,

To give me now a little benefit

Out of those many regist'red in promise,

Which you say live to come in my behalf.


AGAMEMNON.

What wouldst thou of us, Troyan? Make demand.


CALCHAS.

You have a Troyan prisoner call'd Antenor,

Yesterday took; Troy holds him very dear.

Oft have you - often have you thanks therefore -

Desir'd my Cressid in right great exchange,

Whom Troy hath still denied; but this Antenor,

I know, is such a wrest in their affairs

That their negotiations all must slack

Wanting his manage; and they will almost

Give us a prince of blood, a son of Priam,

In change of him. Let him be sent, great Princes,

And he shall buy my daughter; and her presence

Shall quite strike off all service I have done

In most accepted pain.


AGAMEMNON.

Let Diomedes bear him,

And bring us Cressid hither. Calchas shall have

What he requests of us. Good Diomed,

Furnish you fairly for this interchange;

Withal, bring word if Hector will to-morrow

Be answer'd in his challenge. Ajax is ready.


DIOMEDES.

This shall I undertake; and 'tis a burden

Which I am proud to bear.


[Exeunt DIOMEDES and CALCHAS.]


[ACHILLES and PATROCLUS stand in their tent.]


ULYSSES.

Achilles stands i' th' entrance of his tent.

Please it our general pass strangely by him,

As if he were forgot; and, Princes all,

Lay negligent and loose regard upon him.

I will come last. 'Tis like he'll question me

Why such unplausive eyes are bent, why turn'd on him?

If so, I have derision med'cinable

To use between your strangeness and his pride,

Which his own will shall have desire to drink.

It may do good. Pride hath no other glass

To show itself but pride; for supple knees

Feed arrogance and are the proud man's fees.


AGAMEMNON.

We'll execute your purpose, and put on

A form of strangeness as we pass along.

So do each lord; and either greet him not,

Or else disdainfully, which shall shake him more

Than if not look'd on. I will lead the way.


ACHILLES.

What comes the general to speak with me?

You know my mind. I'll fight no more 'gainst Troy.


AGAMEMNON.

What says Achilles? Would he aught with us?


NESTOR.

Would you, my lord, aught with the general?


ACHILLES.

No.


NESTOR.

Nothing, my lord.


AGAMEMNON.

The better.


[Exeunt AGAMEMNON and NESTOR.]


ACHILLES.

Good day, good day.


MENELAUS.

How do you? How do you?


[Exit.]


ACHILLES.

What, does the cuckold scorn me?


AJAX.

How now, Patroclus?


ACHILLES.

Good morrow, Ajax.


AJAX.

Ha?


ACHILLES.

Good morrow.


AJAX.

Ay, and good next day too.


[Exit.]


ACHILLES.

What mean these fellows? Know they not Achilles?


PATROCLUS.

They pass by strangely. They were us'd to bend,

To send their smiles before them to Achilles,

To come as humbly as they us'd to creep

To holy altars.


ACHILLES.

What, am I poor of late?

'Tis certain, greatness, once fall'n out with fortune,

Must fall out with men too. What the declin'd is,

He shall as soon read in the eyes of others

As feel in his own fall; for men, like butterflies,

Show not their mealy wings but to the summer;

And not a man for being simply man

Hath any honour, but honour for those honours

That are without him, as place, riches, and favour,

Prizes of accident, as oft as merit;

Which when they fall, as being slippery standers,

The love that lean'd on them as slippery too,

Doth one pluck down another, and together

Die in the fall. But 'tis not so with me:

Fortune and I are friends; I do enjoy

At ample point all that I did possess

Save these men's looks; who do, methinks, find out

Something not worth in me such rich beholding

As they have often given. Here is Ulysses.

I'll interrupt his reading.


How now, Ulysses!


ULYSSES.

Now, great Thetis' son!


ACHILLES.

What are you reading?


ULYSSES.

A strange fellow here

Writes me that man - how dearly ever parted,

How much in having, or without or in -

Cannot make boast to have that which he hath,

Nor feels not what he owes, but by reflection;

As when his virtues shining upon others

Heat them, and they retort that heat again

To the first giver.


ACHILLES.

This is not strange, Ulysses.

The beauty that is borne here in the face

The bearer knows not, but commends itself

To others' eyes; nor doth the eye itself -

That most pure spirit of sense - behold itself,

Not going from itself; but eye to eye opposed

Salutes each other with each other's form;

For speculation turns not to itself

Till it hath travell'd, and is mirror'd there

Where it may see itself. This is not strange at all.


ULYSSES.

I do not strain at the position -

It is familiar - but at the author's drift;

Who, in his circumstance, expressly proves

That no man is the lord of anything,

Though in and of him there be much consisting,

Till he communicate his parts to others;

Nor doth he of himself know them for aught

Till he behold them formed in th' applause

Where th' are extended; who, like an arch, reverb'rate

The voice again; or, like a gate of steel

Fronting the sun, receives and renders back

His figure and his heat. I was much rapt in this;

And apprehended here immediately

Th' unknown Ajax. Heavens, what a man is there!

A very horse that has he knows not what!

Nature, what things there are

Most abject in regard and dear in use!

What things again most dear in the esteem

And poor in worth! Now shall we see to-morrow -

An act that very chance doth throw upon him -

Ajax renown'd. O heavens, what some men do,

While some men leave to do!

How some men creep in skittish Fortune's-hall,

Whiles others play the idiots in her eyes!

How one man eats into another's pride,

While pride is fasting in his wantonness!

To see these Grecian lords! - why, even already

They clap the lubber Ajax on the shoulder,

As if his foot were on brave Hector's breast,

And great Troy shrinking.


ACHILLES.

I do believe it; for they pass'd by me

As misers do by beggars-neither gave to me

Good word nor look. What, are my deeds forgot?


ULYSSES.

Time hath, my lord, a wallet at his back,

Wherein he puts alms for oblivion,

A great-siz'd monster of ingratitudes.

Those scraps are good deeds past, which are devour'd

As fast as they are made, forgot as soon

As done. Perseverance, dear my lord,

Keeps honour bright. To have done is to hang

Quite out of fashion, like a rusty mail

In monumental mock'ry. Take the instant way;

For honour travels in a strait so narrow -

Where one but goes abreast. Keep then the path,

For emulation hath a thousand sons

That one by one pursue; if you give way,

Or hedge aside from the direct forthright,

Like to an ent'red tide they all rush by

And leave you hindmost;

Or, like a gallant horse fall'n in first rank,

Lie there for pavement to the abject rear,

O'er-run and trampled on. Then what they do in present,

Though less than yours in past, must o'ertop yours;

For Time is like a fashionable host,

That slightly shakes his parting guest by th' hand;

And with his arms out-stretch'd, as he would fly,

Grasps in the corner. The welcome ever smiles,

And farewell goes out sighing. O, let not virtue seek

Remuneration for the thing it was;

For beauty, wit,

High birth, vigour of bone, desert in service,

Love, friendship, charity, are subjects all

To envious and calumniating Time.

One touch of nature makes the whole world kin -

That all with one consent praise new-born gawds,

Though they are made and moulded of things past,

And give to dust that is a little gilt

More laud than gilt o'er-dusted.

The present eye praises the present object.

Then marvel not, thou great and complete man,

That all the Greeks begin to worship Ajax,

Since things in motion sooner catch the eye

Than what stirs not. The cry went once on thee,

And still it might, and yet it may again,

If thou wouldst not entomb thyself alive

And case thy reputation in thy tent,

Whose glorious deeds but in these fields of late

Made emulous missions 'mongst the gods themselves,

And drave great Mars to faction.


ACHILLES.

Of this my privacy

I have strong reasons.


ULYSSES.

But 'gainst your privacy

The reasons are more potent and heroical.

'Tis known, Achilles, that you are in love

With one of Priam's daughters.


ACHILLES.

Ha! known!


ULYSSES.

Is that a wonder?

The providence that's in a watchful state

Knows almost every grain of Plutus' gold;

Finds bottom in th' uncomprehensive deeps;

Keeps place with thought, and almost, like the gods,

Do thoughts unveil in their dumb cradles.

There is a mystery - with whom relation

Durst never meddle - in the soul of state,

Which hath an operation more divine

Than breath or pen can give expressure to.

All the commerce that you have had with Troy

As perfectly is ours as yours, my lord;

And better would it fit Achilles much

To throw down Hector than Polyxena.

But it must grieve young Pyrrhus now at home,

When fame shall in our island sound her trump,

And all the Greekish girls shall tripping sing

'Great Hector's sister did Achilles win;

But our great Ajax bravely beat down him.'

Farewell, my lord. I as your lover speak.

The fool slides o'er the ice that you should break.


[Exit.]


PATROCLUS.

To this effect, Achilles, have I mov'd you.

A woman impudent and mannish grown

Is not more loath'd than an effeminate man

In time of action. I stand condemn'd for this;

They think my little stomach to the war

And your great love to me restrains you thus.

Sweet, rouse yourself; and the weak wanton Cupid

Shall from your neck unloose his amorous fold,

And, like a dew-drop from the lion's mane,

Be shook to airy air.


ACHILLES.

Shall Ajax fight with Hector?


PATROCLUS.

Ay, and perhaps receive much honour by him.


ACHILLES.

I see my reputation is at stake;

My fame is shrewdly gor'd.


PATROCLUS.

O, then, beware:

Those wounds heal ill that men do give themselves;

Omission to do what is necessary

Seals a commission to a blank of danger;

And danger, like an ague, subtly taints

Even then when they sit idly in the sun.


ACHILLES.

Go call Thersites hither, sweet Patroclus.

I'll send the fool to Ajax, and desire him

T' invite the Troyan lords, after the combat,

To see us here unarm'd. I have a woman's longing,

An appetite that I am sick withal,

To see great Hector in his weeds of peace;

To talk with him, and to behold his visage,

Even to my full of view.


[Enter THERSITES.]


A labour sav'd!


THERSITES.

A wonder!


ACHILLES.

What?


THERSITES.

Ajax goes up and down the field asking for himself.


ACHILLES.

How so?


THERSITES.

He must fight singly to-morrow with Hector, and is so

prophetically proud of an heroical cudgelling that he raves in

saying nothing.


ACHILLES.

How can that be?


THERSITES.

Why, 'a stalks up and down like a peacock - a stride and a

stand; ruminaies like an hostess that hath no arithmetic but her

brain to set down her reckoning, bites his lip with a politic

regard, as who should say 'There were wit in this head, an

'twould out'; and so there is; but it lies as coldly in him as

fire in a flint, which will not show without knocking. The man's

undone for ever; for if Hector break not his neck i' th' combat,

he'll break't himself in vainglory. He knows not me. I said 'Good

morrow, Ajax'; and he replies 'Thanks, Agamemnon.' What think you

of this man that takes me for the general? He's grown a very land

fish, languageless, a monster. A plague of opinion! A man may

wear it on both sides, like leather jerkin.


ACHILLES.

Thou must be my ambassador to him, Thersites.


THERSITES.

Who, I? Why, he'll answer nobody; he professes not answering.

Speaking is for beggars: he wears his tongue in's arms. I will

put on his presence. Let Patroclus make his demands to me, you

shall see the pageant of Ajax.


ACHILLES.

To him, Patroclus. Tell him I humbly desire the valiant

Ajax to invite the most valorous Hector to come unarm'd to my

tent; and to procure safe conduct for his person of the

magnanimous and most illustrious six-or-seven-times-honour'd

Captain General of the Grecian army, et cetera, Agamemnon. Do

this.


PATROCLUS.

Jove bless great Ajax!


THERSITES.

Hum!


PATROCLUS.

I come from the worthy Achilles -


THERSITES.

Ha!


PATROCLUS.

Who most humbly desires you to invite Hector to his tent -


THERSITES.

Hum!


PATROCLUS.

And to procure safe conduct from Agamemnon.


THERSITES.

Agamemnon!


PATROCLUS.

Ay, my lord.


THERSITES.

Ha!


PATROCLUS.

What you say to't?


THERSITES.

God buy you, with all my heart.


PATROCLUS.

Your answer, sir.


THERSITES.

If to-morrow be a fair day, by eleven of the clock it will go one

way or other. Howsoever, he shall pay for me ere he has me.


PATROCLUS.

Your answer, sir.


THERSITES.

Fare ye well, with all my heart.


ACHILLES.

Why, but he is not in this tune, is he?


THERSITES.

No, but he's out a tune thus. What music will be in him when

Hector has knock'd out his brains I know not; but, I am sure,

none; unless the fiddler Apollo get his sinews to make catlings

on.


ACHILLES.

Come, thou shalt bear a letter to him straight.


THERSITES.

Let me carry another to his horse; for that's the more

capable creature.


ACHILLES.

My mind is troubled, like a fountain stirr'd;

And I myself see not the bottom of it.


[Exeunt ACHILLES and PATROCLUS.]


THERSITES.

Would the fountain of your mind were clear again, that I might water an ass at it. I had rather be a tick in a sheep than such a valiant ignorance.


[Exit.]

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