The speaker begins by admitting she isn't comfortable with the word "wife" or the sound of it. She shares an anecdote from a dinner with younger, unmarried women who were judging a friend for taking a trip without his wife's approval. The speaker quotes a famous feminist and thinks about how wives are often seen as maids. It's the presumed role of a wife to be obedient and productive at home. The speaker notes that none of the usual wife descriptions fit her because she is often too thoughtful, distracted, and grief-stricken to be a "maid." But she loves her husband deeply, even if she's not always "good" at it, and doesn't want this love to invalidate her.