Ralphie Parker
Ralphie is a typical kid in elementary school growing up in a typical family living in an ordinary midwestern town in the early 1940s. It is the Christmas season and Ralphie has reached the age where he wants just one thing for Christmas: “an official Red Ryder, carbine action, two-hundred-shot range model air rifle!” And he will stop at nothing to get trick his parents into getting it for him.
Ralphie's Mother
The reason Ralphie must work so hard to trick his parents into getting the BB gun is due to the “conspiracy of irrational prejudice against Red Ryder and his peacemaker” expressed by every adult to whom he voices his desire, starting with his mother: “You’ll shoot your eye out.” In addition to her opposition to BB guns, Ralphie’s mother is also revealed to be prejudiced against lamps molded in the shape of a sexually charged female leg. This prejudice is not entirely irrational, however.
The Old Man
Ralphie’s father is only ever referred to as “the Old Man” by the older Ralphie who serves as the film’s narrator. His father wins the leg lamp as a “major award” for winning a contest and his fetishistic love for the lamp is what stimulates the prejudice expressed by Ralphie’s mom. Subplots involving the lamp, Ralphie’s first expression of the F-word, an ongoing battle with the furnace, and dealing with the out-of-control dogs owned by the Bumpasses next door disguise how much attention to Ralphie’s desire for a BB gun his father is actually paying.
Miss Shields
Ralphie’s teacher surprises him by revealing that she is also part of the adult conspiracy against BB guns. After getting immediately shot down by his mom, Ralphie plots to write about the BB gun as part of an essay assignment in which students are supposed to write about what they want for Christmas. Ralphie is convinced his essay is pure poetry and that the A+ grade it will receive will change his mother’s mind. He must change tactics once again when Miss Shields not only did not give him an A, but she also wrote down “You’ll shoot your eye out!”
Flick
One of Ralphie’s two best friends, Flick becomes famous for accepting a triple dog dare to stick his tongue to a frozen flag pole. When he does, however, his tongue gets stuck and the fire department is called upon to safely deal with the situation.
Schwartz
Ralphie’s other best friend is the one delivering the triple dog dare (despite breaching dare-making etiquette by skipping over the simple triple dare and going straight to the dog version) to Flick. Later, Ralphie—under parental pressure—names Schwartz as the source for where he learned the F-word. Despite the fact that his father weaves a tapestry of profanity every day, Ralphie’s fingering of Schwartz will unfairly get the other boy an even worse punishment than Ralphie got for actually saying it.
Scut Farkus
Scut Farkus is an older kid who is as rotten as his name. When Ralphie is disappointed by the reaction to his essay, he lapses into despondency which is sublimated into an explosion of blind rage when Scut Farkus picks the wrong day to pick on him again. The beating he delivers to the bully results in damage to his glasses, but becomes an incident forging a new stage in his relationship with his mother.
Randy
Ralphie’s little brother is usually bundled up so tightly in winter clothing that he can’t even move his arms, but it is he who comes to Ralphie’s rescue when his brother turns the tables on Scut Farkus. Randy’s running to get his mother is what ends the beating.
Santa Claus
Rather than the real Santa Claus, he is the overworked man hired to play Santa Claus at the local department store. He also reveals himself as part of the conspiracy with his reply to Ralphie once he—finally—manages to blurt out what he wants Santa to bring him for Christmas: “You’ll shoot your eye out, kid.”
Older Ralphie
The movie is narrated by Ralphie as an older man looking back nostalgically upon the year in which he received the best Christmas present he ever—and would ever—get. Although not shown on screen as old Ralphie, the actor supplying the narration—who wrote the stories on which the film was based—does show up as the guy who shows Ralphie where the end of the line to Santa Claus is after he unknowingly steps up to the front of the line.
