“Sparrowhawk versus Goshawk” - “Patience”
Macdonald writes, “Here’s the sparrowhawk. It’s grey, with a black and white barred front, yellow eyes and a long tail. Next to it is the goshawk. This one is also grey, with a black and white barred front, yellow eyes and a long tail... You read the description. Sparrowhawk: twelve to sixteen inches long. Goshawk: nineteen to twenty-four inches. There. It was huge. It must be a goshawk. They look identical. Goshawks are bigger, that’s all. Just bigger. No. In real life, goshawks resemble sparrowhawks the way leopards resemble housecats. Bigger, yes. But bulkier, bloodier, deadlier, scarier and much, much harder to see.” The narrator’s differentiation of the sparrowhawk and the goshawk affirms familiarity with the two birds and interest in birdwatching. It would be difficult for individuals who are not keen watchers to differentiate the two birds. Although the birds are almost similar in terms of physical appearance, the goshawk is more aggressive.
The Imagery of the Narrator after the Father’s funeral - “Lost”
The narrator recounts, “After the funeral I went back to Cambridge. I didn’t sleep. I drove around a lot. I stared at the sun going down and the sun coming up, and the sun in between. I watched the pigeons spreading their tails and courting each other in stately pavanes on the lawn outside my house. Planes still landed, cars still drove, people still shopped and talked and worked. None of these things made any sense at all. For weeks I felt I was made of dully burning metal. That’s what it was like; so much so that I was convinced, despite all evidence to the contrary, that if you’d put me on a bed or a chair I would have burned right through.” The narrator’s lack of sleep is an indicator of being ‘ lost’ ; the narrator is deficient of peace of mind which would permit peaceful sleep. Besides, the excessive driving is a measure intended the distract the narrator from depression. The feeling of being ‘ lost’ after the father’s demise hinders the narrator from making sense of the mundane happenings. The ‘burning metal’ is emblematic of extreme stress.
