"If you want a happy ending, try A."
After introducing John and Mary, the narrator encourages the reader to question what happens next to these two characters. Here, the narrator shows that she is speaking directly to someone (the reader) and encouraging them read the story as experimental and changing. This introduction establishes the sense of irony that will continue throughout the story, wherein the plot is not a fixed series of events but instead shifts according to the whims of a frustrated writer.
"Eventually they die. This is the end of the story."
The narrator describes John and Mary's happy marriage and fulfilling life together. Here, she once again draws attention to the fact that she is curating a story, announcing the conclusion with John and Mary's deaths. The monotony of this account suggests that the happy life John and Mary led does not actually yield an interesting or compelling story at all.
"Inside John, she thinks, is another John, who is much nicer. This other John will emerge like a butterfly from a cocoon, a Jack from a box, a pit from a prune, if the first John is only squeezed enough."
In this story, Mary is devoted to a selfish John who takes advantage of her and eventually has an affair with Madge. Here, the narrator describes Mary's thoughts about John and highlights the gender normative behavior at work in their relationship. Furthermore, the use of similes in this quotation emphasizes how this version of John and Mary – which is more fraught with sadness and struggle – is likely more interesting and complex than version A, where they had a "happy ending."
"John is married to a woman called Madge and they have two children, a charming house which they bought just before the real estate values went up, and hobbies which they find stimulating and challenging, when they have the time."
In this story, John is married to Madge. Readers will likely begin to notice that the narrator often repeats words and phrases throughout each version of the story. Here, the language describing John and Madge's relationship is almost identical to that describing John and Mary's happy marriage in version A. The repetition of this description underscores the blandness and monotony associated with "happiness," ultimately suggesting that "happy endings" do not create good stories.
"If you like, it can be 'Madge,' 'cancer,' 'guilty and confused,' and 'bird watching.'"
Here, the narrator addresses the reader directly and encourages them to replace some of the words in the preceding story with new ones. In so doing, the narrator suggests that the story will not actually change because mortality is inevitable. Here, the author playfully posits storytelling and story writing as a type of mad-lib, only made compelling by the addition of other elements beyond plot.
"That's about all that can be said for plots, which anyway are just one thing after another, a what and a what and a what. Now try How and Why."
In this final section of the story, the narrator reminds readers that death is inevitable, and that focusing solely on plot while storytelling will only lead a writer to the deaths of characters. Instead, the narrator tells readers to think about the specific relationships between characters, dialogue, motivations, settings, imagery, contextual implications, and other literary elements that define memorable storytelling and good fiction.
