The Irony of Sabotage
Gay recalls, “A psychiatrist talked to those of us assembled about how to prepare for the surgery…how to accept that the “normal people” (his words, not mine) in our lives might try to sabotage our weight loss because they were invested in the idea of us as fat people.” It is ironic for the ‘normal people’ to sabotage individuals who have been triumphant in losing weight. The ‘normal people’ would be expected to applaud the weight-losers instead of sabotaging them. The ironic sabotage underscores the difficulty of overcoming the label of fatness even after losing weight.
“ A Curse and a Saving Grace”
Gay explains, “I am not small. I will never be small. For one, I am tall. That is both a curse and a saving grace. I have presence, I am told. I take up space. I intimidate. I do not want to take up space. I want to go unnoticed. I want to hide. I want to disappear until I gain control of my body.” It is ironic for a bodily aspect to be both “a curse and a saving grace.” However, Gay demonstrates the merits and undersides of her tallness. She may manage to reduce her weight but she cannot change her height. The height impacts her BMI; therefore, she cannot overlook it no matter how many pounds she shades.
