Emotional Reactions to Sexual Abuse
Gay was always an overweight child, but found that her weight really got out of control after she was sexually abused. She was not able to find the help that she needed to deal with what had happened to her and so turned to food as both comfort and protector. Food was a comfort because it was always there, a reliable presence and also from a physiological standpoint, a sudden rush of sugar that made her feel immediately better, but then led to a slump in mood later in the day, causing the circle to begin again. It was also a form of protection; Gay decided that she was going to keep eating until she was fat enough to repel any man who might be interested in her, thereby protecting her from further unwanted attention. The sexual abuse became not only the theme of her life and her weight but also of the memoir.
Degrees of Obesity
There are many clothing companies that cater to the obese or plus-size customer, and there are many ways in which obese people are accommodated physically by different agencies, but the author's feeling that not enough effort is made to accommodate someone of her size is part of the book's theme of there being many different degrees of obesity. There is obesity, morbid obesity - more of a medical diagnosis than a visual or size related one - and super morbidly obese. The author contends that there should be provision made for every size of person even those who are excessively obese, despite the many efforts made to accommodate obese members of the community, this still seems to be an area of dissatisfaction for the author. Her view is that society's idea of obese falls greatly short of what obese actually is, in terms of the accommodations needed.
Reactions to Society's Ideas on Acceptable Weight
There has long since been a double standard in the media, whereby it seems acceptable to blast a celebrity for being what is perceived to be too thin, but it is not acceptable to indulge in "fat shaming". This, though, is something that the author believes goes on in terms of her experience; she feels that random strangers have opinions that they verbalize about her size, and that everyone feels that it is acceptable to judge a person based on their extreme obesity.
The Obese Experience
One of the book's themes is the way in which obesity and the obese person's relationship with food affects their relationship with everyone and everything else as well. Because the author feels that she is being judged and picked on by her parents for her weight, she feels that her relationship with them is affected detrimentally. The way in which people view her size becomes the way in which they view her, and it also affects the way in which she feels about them as well. In this way, obesity is not just about whether or not the author can find a pair of pants in her size; it is also about how she can maintain a relationship with those she feels are judging her or treating her differently because she is obese.
