Jay
Jay is Eddie's older son. He is 15½ years old and is described by his Uncle Louie as having his late mother’s eyes. In terms of personality, he is strong-willed and is struggling to figure out how to take on the responsibilities of a man. He is characterized as a good student and a responsible young person. While he wants to help, he is often naive and misguided in his attempts to show his maturity, like when he asks to leave with Uncle Louie in order to help their father raise money for the family’s debts. He and Arty are close, but they also have a classic fraternal relationship, with Jay teasing Arty and Arty pushing Jay’s buttons. Jay ultimately tries to be a good role model for Arty by showing him what proper manners are and correcting him when Arty is about to do something disrespectful or disobedient to their father. They bond over their mutual dislike of their grandmother throughout the play, though they both also come to understand her better after living with her for a while.
Arty
Arty is Eddie's younger son and is 13½ years old. Of the two brothers, he is more outrageous and comical in his outlook. Arty is much more inclined to make jokes when he is nervous or as a coping mechanism. He looks to Jay for approval, but develops his own opinions about his family’s situation. He challenges his brother and maintains his own opinions about things. Of the two, he is less interested in school and more geared towards sports. While he has a hint of childish humor and stubbornness in him, he grows up visibly throughout the play.
Grandma Kurnitz
Grandma Kurnitz is mother to Louie, Eddie, Bella, and Gert, and grandmother to Jay and Arty. She escaped Germany during the first World War with her husband and her six children, two of which, Aaron and Rose, died. She is calloused by her struggles in life, incredibly strict, and a proponent of “tough love,” going so far as hitting and throwing her children in a closet overnight in order to teach them a lesson. She argues that she treats her children this way in order to teach them to survive in life, even if this means sacrificing their happiness in order to do so. She is greatly disliked by all of her children, as well as Jay and Arty. By the end of the play, the audience and her family members come to see her more fully, understanding that she is the way she is because she has been so hardened and oppressed by life.
Eddie
Eddie is one of Grandma Kurnitz’s sons, father to Jay and Arty, and brother to Louie, Bella, and Gert. As the play begins, it is revealed that he recently lost his wife to cancer, and in paying for her to have treatment, he now finds himself with a massive amount of debt. This forces him to leave for 10 months to earn money to pay off his debts, leaving his boys with his mother and his sister, Bella. He is described as being a loving father to his sons and is an emotional, sensitive man, tearing up and crying on multiple occasions. He resents his mother for how she treated him and his siblings growing up. He also resents her for disapproving of his late wife. Eddie's sensitivities and tendency to cry make Grandma disapprove, but by the end of the play, they seem to understand one another a little more.
Louie
Louie is the oldest son of Grandma Kurnitz, uncle to Jay and Arty, and brother to Bella, Gert, and Eddie. The play introduces Louie with Jay speculating about Louie’s occupation, believing him to be a henchman or perhaps a bagman for the mafia. Louie refutes this claim by stating he is a simple businessman who has lost his business and must find work elsewhere. Though he admits he also does not like his mother, he says he respects her and that her parenting methods taught him to become a stronger person and take care of himself. Though Louie does not stay for long with the family in the time frame of the play, he demonstrates his love for his family by giving money to Bella to live her own life and achieve her dreams. He acts as the boys’ male authority figure while their father is gone. Louie is smooth-talking, erratic, and clearly mixed up in some crooked schemes.
Bella
Bella is a daughter of Grandma Kurnitz, aunt to Jay and Arty, and sister to Gert, Louie, and Eddie. She is described as, “in her mid-thirties…neat and sweet and pretty, although looking a little older than her age. She is warm and congenial as she is emotionally arrested.” Bella has a tendency to make little to no logical sense when holding a conversation, jumping back and forth between the present and previous experiences and getting overwhelmed with what is happening in the moment. However, she has a warm heart, is hospitable and kind, and cooks well. She has dreams of having a family of her own someday and eventually confronts her mother about allowing her to live these dreams and achieve that which will make her happy. She tries to make Jay and Arty’s stay with her and her mother a good one and genuinely loves her nephews and siblings. By the end, she is shattered by the fact that she cannot have a normal life, as she has the mind of a child, but she begins to become more independent, making some friends and trying to get out from the watchful eye of Grandma.
Gert
Gert is one of Grandma Kurnitz’s daughters, aunt to Jay and Arty, and sister to Bella, Louie, and Eddie. She has a breathing condition which causes her to suck in her breath in the middle of her sentences. She developed this condition as a child out of fear of her mother. Louie tells the boys that Gert used to sleep-talk and was punished severely for something she said in her sleep about her mother, causing her to sleep with her face in her pillow, which affected her breathing for the rest of her life. Gertrude acts as the referee between siblings, particularly for Bella and Louie, and is arguably the closest sibling to Bella. She lives on her own, though her occupation and marital status are not stated in the play. She handles her family’s problems with incredible patience.
