Summary
The narrative returns to Ani's past. After the party at which she was repeatedly raped, she was grounded because her mother was angry that she was drinking. Ani was comforted, however, that she was not socially ostracized; even Hilary and Olivia did not seem bothered by what happened at the party. A few weeks after the party, Hilary and Olivia invited Ani to sleep over at Olivia's house. Eventually, they invited some boys over; Dean, Liam, and some other boys arrived. After drinking a lot of alcohol, the teens slipped outside to smoke pot. Eventually, Ani realized that the others had slipped away, and that she was alone with Dean. Dean grabbed Ani and attempted to rape her again. She began screaming. Her screams attracted the attention of Olivia's parents, and she and Dean both ran away on foot.
In shock, Ani found herself far away from home. She became disoriented and lost as she wandered along roads at night. She went to a gas station to ask for directions, and by chance encountered Mr. Larson there. She told him everything that had happened. He could tell that Ani was very distressed, and wanted to take her to a hospital, but Ani refused, so he took her back to his apartment. After helping her to calm down, Mr. Larson admitted that Dean had assaulted other students before. Mr. Larson let Ani sleep in his bed, and eventually slept on the floor next to her. In the morning, he prepared to drive her home, and promised to help her tell her parents what happened. However, Ani got a call from Dean and he begged her to forgive him. Even though Ani knew he was just trying to protect himself, she told Dean that she forgave him. She also told Mr. Larson that she wanted to take the train home, and that she would handle speaking with her parents.
The next day, Mr. Larson immediately told the headmaster of the school that Dean had assaulted another student. Ani was called to the office, but when she got there, she denied having any incidents to report. She brushed Mr. Larson aside when he told her that it was important to report what happened. Ani was also determined to repair her friendship with Olivia after the incident at her house. At first, Olivia seemed willing to gloss over what happened, but Dean interrupted their conversation. He told Ani, Olivia, and several other students that the headmaster told him there had been concerns about Dean's behavior, and he might not be able to participate in an upcoming soccer game. Dean accused Ani of having spoken with school authorities, although she insisted that she said nothing. Later, Arthur told Ani that everyone knew that she had sex with multiple boys at Dean's house, and that there was some sort of incident at Olivia's house; most students think that Ani caused a scene because she was jealous that Liam and Olivia had begun dating.
Ani was increasingly frustrated that no one seemed to be questioning Dean's role in any of these events. The next day, at school, she was horrified to see that Hilary and Olivia had stolen a pair of shorts stained with menstrual blood from her gym locker, and displayed them for the whole school to see. Ani decided to cut class and left school; she ran into Arthur on her way out, and they went back to his house. Arthur told Ani that he and Dean actually used to be close friends years ago, before Dean became athletic and popular. Arthur thought that Dean was cruel to other people because he was desperate to maintain his precarious hold on popularity. Arthur also showed Ani a hunting rifle that he had in his house. It belonged to Arthur's father, who abandoned the family years earlier.
In the weeks that follow, Ani began to go to Arthur's house every day after school; her mother believed that she was at track and field practice. Ani was surprised and sad that Mr. Larson abruptly quit his job shortly after she denied having any incident to report. Since Ani was socially isolated among the other students, she cherished her friendship with Arthur. One day, while they were hanging out at his house, Arthur told Ani about Ben Hunter; Ani had heard rumors about Ben before, namely that he and Arthur were sexually involved, and that Ben tried to kill himself after being outed. Arthur told Ani what really happened: Ben was bullied by Dean and other popular boys for years, before a terrible incident at a party where Dean held Ben down and defecated on his chest. Ben ran away from the party, and then attempted to take his own life. Ben was found in time, but was placed in an institution. As Ani and Arthur vented their anger towards the other Bradley students, they sometimes wrote mocking and angry comments in copies of the Bradley yearbooks.
Ani's experience at school got even worse when her new English teacher, Mrs. Hurst, began to taunt and embarrass Ani in class. One day, Mrs. Hurst purposefully forced Ani to copy an offensive phrase on the board, and Arthur got angry and lashed out against the teacher. Mrs. Hurst frantically called out for another teacher and claimed that she felt physically threatened. Arthur was escorted away, and a few days later, Ani learned that Arthur had been expelled from Bradley. After hearing this, Ani rushed to Arthur's house. Ani and Arthur talked about his expulsion, and Ani expressed her frustration that, after everything he has done, Dean has never encountered any consequences. Arthur lashed out, and told Ani that she has to admit the truth: she did not report what Dean and the others did to her because she still hoped that she might be able to regain their favor. She still wanted them to like her. Ani was hurt and offended because she knew, deep down, that what Arthur was saying was true. She lashed out, accusing Arthur of being angry with Dean because he secretly had romantic and sexual feelings for him. Ani and Arthur argued and both said cruel things to each other. She ran away from his house, and took with her a framed photo of Arthur with his father.
In the contemporary storyline, Ani asks Luke for Mr. Larson's contact information. Luke is suspicious, but Ani assures him that she wants to catch up, and also find out how Mr. Larson is going to approach filming the documentary. Ani has power in her relationship with Luke because he finds her very sexually alluring, and she is willing to take risks that he is unaccustomed to women taking. Secretly, Ani is still attracted to Mr. Larson and fantasizes about having an affair with him, even though he is married with young children. Ani and Mr. Larson meet in a bar. Mr. Larson expresses admiration for the success Ani has achieved in her career, although she is cynical. Ani confides that she is worried about the documentary, and that Luke does not like her talking about or dwelling on the events at Bradley. Mr. Larson consoles her, explaining that it is only natural that she wants to reflect on her past. Ani also apologizes for not reporting her assault when he was trying to help her.
The next day, Ani has lunch with her one close friend, Nell. She confides that she is considering breaking off her engagement with Luke. Nell is confused; she seems to think that Luke is not really good enough for Ani, but she has always thought that Ani wanted the security and status that came with marrying a wealthy man. Ani concedes that she is sad to think about no longer being with Luke. Weeks pass; it is now September, and almost time for Ani to start filming for the documentary. Although Luke was initially planning to come with her, he ends up being unable to do so. Ani is going to stay in a hotel near Bradley. She makes plans to have dinner with her parents, and also with Mr. Larson.
On the first day of filming, Ani is doing an interview at a studio. She is being interviewed by a man named Aaron, and is finally going to describe the events that took place at the Bradley School on November 12, 2001.
Analysis
While Ani initially experienced some popularity and a rising social status in her early days at the Bradley School, she quickly falls from grace after the events at the party. In a cruel irony, Ani is the one shamed and ostracized for what happened, while the boys suffer no consequences. In fact, when Dean even hints that he might be penalized (by not being allowed for participating in a soccer game), the other students act as though he is the one who has been wronged. Ani's body is not valued, but Dean's future opportunities are, showing how their genders signify different levels of privilege. It's not entirely clear whether the other students think that Ani had consensual sex with the boys at the party, but the more chilling reality is that they simply do not care: in their minds, Ani is to blame for any sexual encounter, whether or not she consented. Part of why Ani distances herself from what happened, avoids talking about it, and sometimes blames herself is because she internalizes the story of being at fault.
Dean's second attack on Ani reveals that her previous victimization has left her vulnerable. Dean sees her as someone who is now completely sexually available to him, and he is emboldened by the fact that Ani seemed compliant after he raped her the first time. The repeated attacks show that Dean is a true villain and predator; his repeated attacks, and the subsequent information that he has assaulted other students before Ani, make it clear that there is no way anyone could claim he made a mistake or acted out of character. Ani, however, responds differently to the second attack; this time, she fights back more vigorously. While Ani is able to defend herself, she pays a steep social price: Ani is ostracized after she fights back, and her response to the second attack is what triggers her becoming a social outcast. As an adult, Ani plays by the rules established by a deeply capitalist and patriarchal society because she learned as a teenager that there is no reward for fighting back.
Once Ani is effectively socially ostracized from the popular students whose approval she was seeking, she ends up with no one except Arthur. Because Arthur is also an outcast, he shows some sympathy to Ani and the two of them form a deep bond. Arthur's experiences, and the information he shares about what happened to Ben, further confirm how cruel Dean and the others can be. Even the alliteration between their names hints at the bond and shared experiences between them. However, Ani and Arthur's bond is fragile because they are both anxious about solidifying their social positions. Ani is devastated when Arthur names the truth she has been trying to avoid: that she thinks she can achieve and maintain some kind of power by appeasing those oppress others. This pattern continues into Ani's adult life: she tries to ingratiate herself into Luke's social circle even while she despises many of the people around him. The confrontation between Ani and Arthur also moves Arthur from a sympathetic to a sinister character, setting the stage for the heinous actions he will carry out later. Arthur has some sympathy for Ani at first, but he ultimately feels disdain towards her. The shotgun that Arthur shows to Ani chillingly foreshadows events to come.
In addition to Arthur, Ani forms a complex bond with Andrew Larson in the wake of being repeatedly attacked. At first, Mr. Larson seems positioned alongside the doctor and Ani's mother as adults who do not care about what happened to her, but when he sees more explicit evidence after the second attack, Mr. Larson becomes a protector figure. However, since Mr. Larson is a young man only a bit older than Ani herself, his impulse to help and protect her is complicated. When Ani spends the night at his apartment , Mr. Larson carefully ensures that he maintains some boundaries with her. However, when the two of them meet again in the present-day narrative, Ani feels strong sexual desire for him. She might idealize Mr. Larson as one of the few adults who tried to do the right thing, and as essentially the only person who recognized that Dean had harmed her. Perhaps because of her warped sense of self-worth and over-identification with sexuality, Ani experiences gratitude, admiration, and affection as sexual desire.
Ani's attraction to Mr. Larson might also be born out of recognition: he is one of the only people alive who knew her before her identity was fundamentally altered by the extensive trauma she suffered as a teenager. He is one of the only people who also knows the whole truth about Ani, and as will later become more clear, he respects and admires her for her resilience. Ani's desire for Mr. Larson might more accurately be seen as a desire to to be truly seen, known, and accepted. This is something she has never experienced because her whole relationship with Luke has been predicated on trying to fulfill his desires and live up to his expectations. Even though Mr. Larson is married and has young children, Ani recklessly fantasizes about pursuing a relationship with him. While potentially destructive, this desire is also liberating for Ani. It is only after meeting Mr. Larson that Ani begins seriously contemplating leaving Luke. The encounter with Mr. Larson catalyzes Ani's desires to be herself, to integrate her past into her present, and to be truly loved. None of these desires are actually reliant on her former teacher, but once they begin to surface, it becomes harder and harder for Ani to resign herself to a future of lying and pretending. The encounter with Mr. Larson occurs shortly before Ani also begins to relive the events that occurred during the attack at the Bradley school. Taken together, filming of the documentary and spending time with Mr. Larson prompt Ani to reassess her past.
