“I will not be what I was made, but what I make.”
Neumann realizes the potential of constructing his human body with mechanized and robotic prosthetics. He points out the limitations the human body has and wishes to improve on it to reap the benefits of what he constructs. He sees himself as an entity that can be continually improved taking his experiments to their extremes. He, however, takes the endeavor too far and by the conclusion of the narrative, Neumann has completely mechanized himself and wishes to even computerize his essence.
“I don't play the lottery. I don't care what my horoscope says. I think most things about the world could be improved if people thought more about what they're doing. When someone gets upset with their computer, I tend to side with the computer.”
Neumann spurns the elements of the human condition by pointing out the inferiority of humans compared to computers. He gets drawn into the realm of binaries that he begins to dissect the thought-process of computers against that of humans. Definitely, the thought-process of humans are driven by ingrained motives and emotions that computers do not possess thus our many flaws. However, Neumann sees it as a ‘defect’ that can be corrected if the human condition was in the same frequency as computer processing.
“It was pointless to ponder who I was because I was whichever combination of chemicals happened to be sloshing around at that time. So I decided not to search for a true self. I decided to choose who I wanted to be.”
In this assertion, Neumann further accentuates on the futility of finding one’s self when the human perception, emotion, and drive are erratic and inconsistent. He decides to make it easier to clearly know his true self by computerizing rather than struggle to find who he is. Though not overtly cautioning on dangers of computerization, Barry shows the extent an obsession can take over the individual through Neumann’s quest to become fully computerized.
“I read once that you need two things to be happy. Any two of health, money, and love. You can cover the absence of one with the other two. I drew comfort from this idea while I was fully bodied, employed, and unloved. It made me feel I wasn't missing much. But now I realized this was unmitigated bullshit because health and money did not compare with love at all.
Neumann muses how being loved is unparalleled by having your health and wealth. The notion of having money and health though unloved is a status that many take solace in, though Neumann challenges it. He initially took comfort in having a good career and being physically capable and healthy. Thus, gave him a sense of contentment and security. However, when he meets Lola and falls in love with her, he realizes the feeling is immeasurable and he has been missing out indeed.
