The protagonist's way down has started many years ago. Being a representative of the next great generation, he doesn’t feel as if he belongs to this society, and, what is more, he is convinced that he is not accepted and never will be. The protagonist turns thirty-five; he is married to a woman who is supposedly out of his league and has three mixed race kids with her. The man feels that he is not worthy of their love and feels guilty about jeopardizing his kids’ happiness by his cursed genes. He senses a feeling of fear when people look at him and his children, it makes them feel uneasy, but they have to pretend that everything is all right for their own sake, because they don’t fancy an idea of being labeled as racists. However, everything is not that bad as he portrays, for his severe inferiority complex doesn’t allow him see that a half of his ideas are far from the truth.
He lives in his friend’s kid room. Financial problems make his wife, Claire, and him make a decision to separate for a short period of time, so that he could sort everything out. School tuition, a new apartment, and a new job are the main things on his to do list. His son’s fish is his only company he really enjoys for now. The man recollects his past, think about everything he has experienced and tries to come to terms with himself. It is so difficult for him to believe that he is worthy of love and happiness, for he used to be told that he deserves none of it. His mother confesses that she should have washed him down the toilet when she had a chance. He was raped when he was a little boy. He finds a way to express himself in poetry, but no everyone can endure reading them, for they are really dark, his pain and fears are expressed in words. In spite of the fact that he is a talented writer, the man is afraid of success and this insecurity prevents him from perusing his dream.
Claire become his anchor in times of difficulty. Her will, determination and love prevent their marriage from falling apart. She doesn’t stop believing in him no matter how many times he fails. She also makes him speak about the horrors he has experienced in the past, she doesn’t forget to remind him of the fact that he is being loved and missed by her and their three children.
The ending is open-ended. The author lets reader decide what is going to happen. The chances are even. For the principal characters, the love they share is strong to endure everything. However, the protagonist can fail too.
