Porcelain Themes

Porcelain Themes

The Need for Self-Acceptance

John's story is a tragic one. Given multiple opportunities to change, he cannot seem to overcome the challenges of his own identity. For all intents and purposes, John is an outsider in society, first because he's gay and also because he's half Chinese and lives in England. Unable to conform to the traditional model of acceptable masculinity, John believes that he is somehow wrong or bad or unacceptable. Despite the encouragement of Dr. Worthing, the pride of his father for their Chinese heritage, and even the intimacy of his relationship with Tom, John resists positive transformation of his relationship to himself. As a result, he lives in a constant state of rejection and hatred, which eventually corrupt all his desire and he murders Tom. The tragedy of John's story is not that he turns violent so much as the fact that all of it could have been avoided if he had found the courage to love himself defiantly.

Aggressive Homophobia

In the 1990s, gay culture in Britain was rising to the surface, coming out of the shadows, but it was not often well received at first. John has the misfortune to be a gay man in a time of crisis for the community. It's not only discourage but sometimes not safe for him to be open about his sexuality. Thus began the practice of "cottaging." John and his lovers are forced into potentially dangerous situations because of their homophobic society. Ultimately John's secret identity becomes too much to bear and adds unbearable stress to his already compromised relationship to self. Even his own father would reject him if he learned that his son is gay. Only with Dr. Worthing can John be honest, but even there John doesn't take the time and exercise the immense self-love required to overcome the toxic messages of his society.

Repression Manifested in Insanity

John's story illustrates the real danger of repression. People are not built to keep their feelings and expressions internalized forever. In fact it can be dangerous. In John's case, his fear of rejection and even violence if he lived as an openly gay man drive him to repress a huge part of his identity. He lives in constant misery, unable even to look forward to the opportunities of his future, like his acceptance to Cambridge. As the narrative progresses, John becomes increasingly overwhelmed by the amount of emotion he's repressing. It all escapes his control at once when he's confronted by Tom in the bathroom. Tom tells John that he's scared of becoming as hateful as John. He wants to be happy. This is too much for John, who also wants those things, and he loses control in a moment of pure rage that just happens to be directed toward the person in front of him -- the man who loves him.

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