“She didn't like to be talked about. Equally, she didn't like not to be talked about, when the high-minded chatter rushed on as though she was not there. There was no pleasing her, in fact. She had the grace, even at eleven, to know there was no pleasing her. She thought a lot, analytically, about other people's feelings, and had only just begun to realize that this was not usual, and not reciprocated.”
This quotation exemplifies how the Wellwood parents' anxious social lives spills into their children's. Olive and Humphry live in a neighborhood in which people take great pride in feeling superior to one another, so they engage in constant competition and gossip. As a result of this, the younger Wellwood daughter starts noticing that she hates to hear her name brought up in someone else's conversation, but she also feels a quiet desire to be the center of attention. She longs for approval, but she starts to loathe attention for fear of slander.
“You did not so much mind being - conventionally - betrayed, if you were not kept in the dark, which was humiliating, or defined only as a wife and dependent person, which was annihilating.”
Olive writes and takes great pride in her career because she believes she's providing for her family. When she learns about Humphry's affair, she's humiliated because he felt the need to keep it a secret. For her the real betrayal was the lie. After being found out, Humphry claims that his only bond to her is legal and financial obligation, a crushing blow to the hard-working Olive.
“You know, it's a truism that writers for children must still be children themselves, deep down, must still feel childish feelings, and a child's surprise at the world. ”
Olive has convinced herself that her career as a children's author is paramount in her life. She often excuses her own misbehavior as an unfortunate side-effect of her work. She believes that writing for children demands an in-depth knowledge of a child's experience.
“The children mingled with the adults, and spoke and were spoken to. Children in these families, at the end of the nineteenth century, were different from children before or after. They were neither dolls nor miniature adults. They were not hidden away in nurseries, but present at family meals, where their developing characters were taken seriously and rationally discussed, over supper or during long country walks. And yet, at the same time, the children in this world had their own separate, largely independent lives, as children. They roamed the woods and fields, built hiding-places and climbed trees, hunted, fished, rode ponies and bicycles, with no other company than that of other children.”
The Wellwood kids are growing up in a rather unique environment. Because of the social emphasis on reputation, the neighbors all are interested in one another's children. Unlike other places, the kids in this neighborhood are treated like adults but also expected to be interesting. They aren't supposed to behave any better than normal children but just to learn how to be intriguing to more adult influences.