Dysfunctional Relationships Motif
There is a motif of dysfunctional relationships throughout the movie, both romantic and sexual, and also familial. The most obviously dysfunctional relationship is that of Charlie and his Aunt Helen, since she is abusing him. However, his sister is also in a physically abusive relationship which she makes Charlie promise to keep hidden from their parents.
Another dysfunctional relationship in the movie is that of father and son; Brad is gay, but frightened to admit it to his father. When his dad discovers the truth anyway he becomes physically abusive towards his son. He does not know how to love his son unconditionally and intends to shame or beat him into living a life that is a lie. Their relationship is basically dysfunctional because it will thrive whilst built on this lie, but will disintegrate quickly if Brad stays true to himself.
Physical Violence Motif
There is quite a bit of physical violence in the film; violence between Charlie's sister and her boyfriend; violence between Brad and his father, and then between Brad and Patrick. When Brad's friends start beating on Patrick, Charlie intervenes and ends up inflicting some considerable physical damage on them - so much, in fact, that he is worried Sam will be angry with him. Thinking with one's fists is a motif that seems to occur throughout the movie.
Aunt Helen Symbol
Aunt Helen is a symbol of guilt for Charlie. He is guilt-ridden over her death for most of his life because in suppressing the memory of her abusing him, he has convinced himself that her death was his fault because she was driving to his house with a birthday gift for him. Since he was the reason for her journey he believes it is his fault that she was killed whilst driving over to him.
Once he is able to remember the abuse, he is then convinced that he is guilty of causing her death by simply willing it to happen; so many times as an abused kid he wished her dead, so that she wouldn't abuse him anymore. He now feels guilty because he believes all of that wishing actually manifested itself in her death in the car accident. Aunt Helen has become a symbol of guilt to Charlie because even when he realizes it was not his fault she was driving to his house he still feels that he was the person who caused her death by his constant wishing for it to happen.
"Heroes" Allegory
Sam believes that the David Bowie song "Heroes" is an allegory of their lives, particularly hers. The song's lyrics talk about beating the odds, beating an un-named "them" and of a love that overcomes difficulties. She feels more alive than ever when she hears it and feels that "we can be heroes, just for one day" is allegorical of her life, which she feels she has managed to get through despite people around her trying to bring her down. She feels like she and her friends are heroes and can do anything that they want.
Parent/Child Disconnect Motif
There is a disconnect between the parents and their kids in the movie, as the parents don't seem to know their children very well at all. This is not all necessarily the parents' fault; it would have been impossible for Charlie's parents to know that he had been abused because in suppressing the memories, he didn't even know it himself until he unlocked them again. However, at the time the abuse was happening he was secretive and they unsuspicious, causing the to be unaware of what their son was going through. Because their daughter is so secretive she is also keeping abuse from them, this time violence at the hands of her boyfriend.
Sam's father was disconnected from her because he did not realize that his daughter was being abused by his boss. Brad and his father have a disconnect because his father believes he has a straight son, a son whose image he has carefully cultivated, and his discovery that this is not the case is almost overwhelming to him. These disconnects are both examples of how a parent knows their picture of what their child is like, but the picture is disconnected from the reality of the child.
