Contention Between Mother and Daughter
The main theme in the novel is the contentious relationship between mother and daughter, in particular the gulf of understanding between the two, and their apparent inability to overcome this. Part of the disconnect is perfectly natural as it is very difficult for a daughter to see things from a mother's perspective as she is not yet a mother and cannot therefore understand a parent's motivations for things that they as a child just do not understand. An example of this in the novel is Violet's inability to understand why her mother would abandon her and head to California, choosing a child she has never got to know over a child she has lived with a lifetime; when Violet herself is a mother and realizes she would go to the ends of the earth for her daughter, her anger with her mother dissipates because she is able to understand why her mother acted in the way that she did.
However, much of the estrangement between the women is actually understandable because Violet was completely abandoned by her mother, and it seems to the reader at least that her mother did not spend nearly the time or energy on trying to find Violet that Violet spent in search of a way to be with her daughter. This is extremely hurtful to Violet and so in some ways some of the disconnect is actually for a particular reason, and not just because of a generational inability to understand each other.
Courtesan Relationships
The culture in China at the time allowed Courtesan Houses to provide pleasure for men courtesy of young women who were essentially enslaved to the house owner. The biggest irony in the novel is that Violet grew up in a courtesan house owned by her mother but ended up enslaved to a courtesan house owned by another operator after she is kidnapped. Courtesan Houses are a hybrid version of Japanese Geisha houses and the Bunny Ranch in Reno, Nevada, giving the impression of a certain level of freedom for the women that in reality is just not provided.
Courtesan women often gave birth to children with their married lovers who frequented the houses and became involved in relationships with them. This is the case for Violet, who has her daughter Flora with her lover, Edward, whom she is unable to marry because he is already married. It is suggested also that this was the case for her mother as Violet has never met her father until he arrives at the house to take her mother back to America with him. Courtesan houses really epitomize the patriarchal society that was thriving in China at time.
The Bond Between Mother and Daughter
Although the majority of the novel deals with the conflict in the mother/daughter relationship, there is a sub-theme within this of the bond between mother and daughter. This is most evident in the relationship between Violet and Flora' although Violet and Loyalty try to create a relationship with Flora, Edward and his wife actively prevent this and it is not until Flora is older and finds out about Violet herself that the two women meet; there is already a bond between them and from Violet's perspective, the bond has been lifelong and has never faded; from Flora's perspective, the bond seems to pre-date her initial meeting with her mother, and they become very close almost immediately. There is also an enduring bond between Violet and her mother despite their disconnect and this is what enables them to reconnect at the end of the novel.
